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How Well Do You Know: Better Off Ted, Season 1
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Better Off Ted Season 1 quiz

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1. "Pilot": The first assignment that Veronica handed to Ted in the pilot was to find a way to weaponize:
Toilet paper
A pumpkin
2. "Pilot": Phil was frozen by Veridian Dynamics. But then he thawed out. Accidentally. Which would have been fine, except that he went on to display this unusual side effect:
At various times, he would start stuffing his mouth with ice cubes
He would randomly emit a banshee-like wail
He began to hoard creamer
He took on Lem's personality
3. "Heroes": During the episode, Phil and Lem try to perfect beef without:
4. "Heroes": Jerome the food taster declared that the meat-like substance tasted like:
Sneezing with your eyes open
5. "Heroes": Phil and Lem perfect the meat, but Ted said it was a few years away from being a practical product, because:
The company grew too attached to it after naming it
The company first wanted to research its applications in the industrial warfare field
They had to figure out how to keep it from talking
It costs $10,000 per pound
6. "Through Rose Colored HAZMAT Suits": Ted was about to leave Rose at the Veridian Dynamics daycare, but thought better of it when he learned that the children would be put to work:
Assembling crash-test dummies
Soldering circuit boards
Painting lines in the parking structure
Disinfecting the loading docks
7. "Through Rose Colored HAZMAT Suits": Which pair was trapped in a room with only one HAZMAT suit when a contamination alarm went off?
Ted and Linda
Ted and Veronica
Phil and Lem
Veronica and Rose
8. "Racial Sensitivity": The first motion sensors that fail to acknowledge Lem's presence in the episode control the:
Security door to the lab
Lights in the lab
Drinking fountains
9. "Racial Sensitivity": Describe Stu, the white guy assigned to Lem as part of Operation White Shadow:
Linda's new racquetball-playing, crepe-making, friend-of-Ted boyfriend
A shellshocked veteran of three legitimate and dozens of illegitimate military campaigns
An out-of-work manga cum laude grad of Princeton MBA
A complete idiot who marvels that salt taste salty and who sets himself on fire in the lab
10. "Win Some, Dose Some": Linda is accidentally drugged when she is stuck by a wayward Needle Game needle, and Lem puts what he thinks is a bandaid on her bodypart that he calls:
11. "Win Some, Dose Some": A complicated romance/business deal develops between Ted, Linda and a general. At the center of the deal was ___________ which Ted's daughter was selling and ______ which Veridian was developing for the military.
Wrapping paper / solar powered ovens
Cookies / weaponized pumpkins
Magazine subscriptions / hands that shoot lightning
Christmas ornaments / grenade-launching weasels
12. "Goodbye, Mr. Chips": Figuring prominently in the resolution of the episode, what did Phil call "the ultimate dream of every scientist?"
Laser beams
Jet packs
Candy-dispensing televisions
Room-temperature cold fusion
13. "Goodbye, Mr. Chips": Who was chased in the lab by the OctoChicken, and was frightened when it descended from its web?
14. "Goodbye, Mr. Chips": During the episode, we learn that Ted has this female name for a middle name, though it's pronounced somewhat differently, not that it matters, 'cause it's still totally girly:
15. "Get Happy": Based on Linda's suggestion that morale would be improved if employees could personalize their cubicles, Veridian offered the drones one of four different themes. Which was not one of them?
Bikini babes
Green Bay Packers
16. "Get Happy": In a company-wide survey, Ted received nearly unanimous ratings from everyone, except for this group:
Phil and Lem
Men over 50
Asian wannabe gangsters in the mail room
Female redhead employees
17. "You Are the Boss of Me": Phil and Lem eventually regret introducing Ted to:
Model Train Cub
Sitting Quietly Society
Mustard Packet Construction Guild
Medieval Fight Club
18. "You Are the Boss of Me": Entering briefly into a one-sided friendship with Veronica, Linda learns many horrifying things about her boss. Which of the following is not among Veronica's confessions?
With one phone call, she ignited the Lindsay Lohan/Hillary Duff feud of the late 90s
She had her grandfather deported
She fed her sister in her sleep so she wouldn't be skinnier than Veronica
She slept with her boyfriend's therapist to see if she was cheating on her
19. "Bioshuffle": A hazmat leak forced Linda to move into Ted's office, which forced Ted to move into Veronica's office. Ted took exception to one of Veronica's stress-relieving techniques, to which she replied, "I can't have you flinching every time I:"
Make myself vomit
Shoot a gun in here
Eat a live goldfish
Throw a computer monitor out of the window
20. "Bioshuffle": Phil realizes that the bio computer is secreting acid because it has the equivalent of:
A broken heart
Hurt feelings
Buyer's remorse
An ulcer
21. "Truth and Consequence": Veridian ends up in hot water when it's discovered that ________ it developed occasionally attracts __________ when used by people:
Super glue / heat-seeking missiles
Motor oil / tornadoes
Perfume / hornets
Shark repellent / sharks
22. "Truth and Consequence": Linda sent an email to Ted warning him about the product in question, but he didn't receive it, as when it was sent he was:
Picking up Rose from daycare
Having sex with Veronica
Attending an Up With Ted rally
Settling a dispute between Phil and Lem
23. "Father, Can You Hair Me?": Veronica's father, head of Veridian rival Digivation, wanted to call a truce with Veronica, because he claimed:
He was dying
Their competition hurt the development of both companies and resulted in scores of lives lost
It was the only way his mother would reconcile with him
Jesus appeared to him in a marketing report
24. "Father, Can You Hair Me?": Ignoring the advice of Lem and Phil, Ted tested the hair growth formula and inadvertently grew hair on:
His car
His desk
A large ficus plant
25. "Jabberwocky": Lem and Phil are developing unbreakable dinnerware. The first plate they develop weighs 8 pounds. What was wrong with the second?
It made food taste like feet
It burst into flames
It changed the color of any food placed on it to black
It made anyone who used it scream uncontrollably
26. "Jabberwocky": Ted created the fiction of the Jabberwocky project to hide the fact that he had given Linda money:
To create a roof garden
To keep her from broadcasting the details of their affair
To redo the women's restroom
To build a daycare center for the company in the parking garage
27. "Jabberwocky": Everything turned out by the end of the episode, save one poor animal of this species, which was driven mad by its bioluminescence:
28. "Secrets and Lives": Veronica's magician boyfriend is named:
29. "Secrets and Lives": Unable to channel her stress through her magic act, Veronica spends the bulk of the episode:
Firing Linda
Slapping people
Razing Tibetan villages to make room for condos
Coming to work with her hair down, with no makeup, and wearing a sweat suit
30. "Secrets and Lives": Who or what the heck is a Byron McNurtney?
A sexual position that Linda ill-advisedly tries with her boyfriend Don
He is the CEO of Veridian Dynamics
A bully who picks on Rose at school
Phil's confidence-endowed doppelganger

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