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How Well Do You Know: The Saint
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The Saint quiz

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1. The movie opens in an orphanage in the Far East, where a young boy takes the name Simon Templar – Templar after the Knights Templar and Simon after:
Simon Peter, Jesus' disciple
Simon Magus, a magician
Simon of Cyrene, who helped Jesus carry his cross
Simon Le Bon, lead singer of Duran Duran
2. Simon runs away from the orphanage after what harrowing experience?
He is brutalised by a priest for refusing to answer to his given saint name
He is exorcised of his inner demons
He is excommunicated for leading an orphan rebellion
His first love falls to her death as he tries to kiss her
3. Now an adult, Simon has become a master thief with a penchant for disguise. The first disguise we see is:
a Russian policemen
a Ukrainian fortune teller
an Italian gadabout
a French tourist
4. Simon is busted stealing a microchip from Russian oligarch Ivan Tretiak. He pretends to be:
South African
5. He is busted stealing the microchip by Tretiak's son, Ilya, a pony-tailed little squirt who affectedly sports:
a Kangol cap
an umbrella
a cane
a monocle
6. How much money does Simon want in his Zurich bank account to retire from his life of crime?
$20 million
$50 million
$100 million
$200 million
7. Tretiak wants Simon found, so he poses as a client. Simon meets him in Berlin, using the guise of Bruno Hautenfast, a saint who:
brought the light to many heathens with his eloquence
was martyred by having his eyes removed and the sockets filled with boiling oil
was converted to Christianity after his wife grew a miraculous beard
took a vow of poverty and went to live in the forest in the nude
8. At the meeting, Simon offers Ilya:
a cigarette
a light
lip balm
9. Tretiak hires Simon to steal a secret formula for what?
cold fusion
perpetual motion
the Colonel's eleven secret herbs and spices
10. The formula has been developed by eccentric American scientist Dr Emma Russell, who suffers from:
a heart condition
a collapsed lung
short term memory loss
11. Emma is working at:
the Sorbonne
12. To meet Emma for the first time, Simon takes the guise of:
a bald, nervous journalist
a bumbling philosophy don
an uptight police detective
Tom Selleck
13. To meet Emma a second time, Simon takes the guise of Thomas More, named for a saint who died for his faith. Thomas is:
an artist
a gymnast
a race car driver
a poet
14. Still as Thomas More, Simon takes Emma out to dinner and buys two bottles of the most expensive wine in the restaurant. From where does he get the money?
from his wallet
from his coat pocket
from down his pants
from behind Emma's ear – magic!
15. Simon steals the formula and takes it to Moscow, to find that Tretiak really wants him dead. Somehow, Emma tracks him down and they escape, but not before Emma has to treat Simon for:
heat stroke
decompression sickness
16. While escaping from Ilya in the tunnels underneath Moscow, Simon and Emma run into:
Tretiak's secret hideout
a group of homeless people sheltering from the cold
a gang of art smugglers
a disused bomb shelter
17. When Tretiak discovers the cold fusion formula does not work, what does he do?
he tears it up
he tries to expose Emma as a fraud
he threatens to kill Emma if she won't give him the correct formula
he sells it to the Russian government
18. Every saint needs three miracles. The first is that the cold fusion machine works. The second is the crowd in Red Square turns against Tretiak. What is the third?
That Simon doesn't get arrested
That the Russians find the fuel oil stored under Treiak's mansion
The light from the cold fusion machine forms a saint's halo around Simon's head
That Emma loves Simon – bleah!
19. The movie ends with a radio announcer relating how mysterious donations were made from Tretiak's bank account to various charities. Which actor provides the voice?
Patrick Macnee
David McCallum
Richard Chamberlain
Roger Moore
20. Bonus question: The original ending for the film proved unpopular with test audiences and was re-shot. What happens in the original ending?
Simon kills the Tretiaks, but loses a hand
Emma dies and Simon vows to use his talents for good
Simon martyrs himself to save Emma
Simon finds God

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