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How Well Do You Know: Firefly Episode 12: The Message
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Whatever you do, don't make fun of Jayne's hat

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1. What are Simon and Kaylee admiring at the beginning of the episode?
An antique laser pistol
A cow fetus
Inara's massage technique
Jayne's swinging cod
2. Simon points out that all of the women in his life other than Kaylee are all of the following except
Closely related to me
3. Inara compares the Lassiter antique laser pistol they've stolen to what?
Elvis Presley
A folio of Shakespeare's plays
The Mona Lisa
Serenity, only worth something
4. How does River describe her potential meal?
A little too cow-fetus-y
Not even fit for a reaver
Where's the beef?
5. What does Jayne's mother send him to keep him warm in his travels?
A knit hat
A sweater
A quilt
A nudie magazine
6. What is in the large package they pick up at port?
The crate that originally held River
A dead guy
Shepherd Book's prayer pedestal
7. What saves Private Tracey while he is trying to open his can of food?
The bad guy steps on a landmine
Mal shoots the bad guy in the back
Nothing. That's why Private Tracy is a dead guy.
Zoe cuts the bad guy's throat
8. Lieutenant Womack, the charming bloke chasing the Firefly crew in this episode, has a disturbing chat with the postmaster. Which of these threats does he not make during the conversation?
Being burned to death
Being raped
Being in prison
Being thrown out the space lock
9. As happens every episode, River creeps out the crew. What did she do this time?
Forgets to wear clothing while she's dancing
Hugs Jayne
Slashes Jayne's shirt
Snuggles on top of the coffin
10. What prank did Tracey pull on his colonel?
Cut off his mustache
Replaced his bullets with rocks
Shaved half his hair off while he was asleep
Stole his official garb and replaced it with a lovely red dress
11. When Simon carves the body, what does he find?
A key to a locker
A recorded message for Mal and Zoe
A patient who is actually alive
12. Upon awakening, what does Tracey notice about his current state?
He doesn't remember the tattoo on his back shoulder
He's experiencing shrinkage
He's naked
He's unusually pale and cold
13. Tracey is transporting illegal goods. What are they?
Bobble-head geisha dolls
Internal organs
14. There are three gunshot wounds in this episode. Who receives each one?
Wash, Jayne and Tracey
Wash, Mal and Tracey
Wash, Tracey, and Tracey again
Wash, Zoe and Tracey
15. Shepherd Book figures out Womack's dirty little secret. What is it?
He's out of his jurisdiction
He's no longer working for the government
He's the one who needs the internal organ
His twin brother is actually the policeman

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