1. | Generic Wayans Brothers Spoof | ||
A Haunted House | |||
John Dies at the End | |||
Movie 43 | |||
All of Them | |||
2. | Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Sexy Prohibition Costuming | ||
Crazy, Stupid, Love. | |||
Easy A | |||
Gangster Squad | |||
The Ides of March | |||
3. | Grimm Fairy Tale Equals Lousy Attempt to Create Action Franchise | ||
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters | |||
Jack the Giant Slayer | |||
Olympus Has Fallen | |||
Oz the Great and Powerful | |||
By way of explanation.....
Hansel and Gretel is the only actual Grimm Fairy Tale of the bunch. |
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4. | Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe Are Fighting But Nobody Knows Why | ||
Broken City | |||
The Departed | |||
Gladiator | |||
Stand Up Guys | |||
By way of explanation.....
Broken City begs the question: in a fair fight, who do you bet on between Wahlberg and Crowe? |
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5. | My Feral Nieces Scare the Crap Outta Me | ||
Dark Skies | |||
The Last Exorcism Part II | |||
Mama | |||
Snitch | |||
6. | From Governator to Sheriff, Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Unpopular in All Political Settings | ||
Bullet to the Head | |||
Dead Man Down | |||
The Last Stand | |||
Snitch | |||
By way of explanation.....
The Last Stand grossed $12 million domestically against a $30 million budget. It's no wonder the state of California is broke. |
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7. | Generic Jason Statham Movie Co-Starring Jennifer Lopez | ||
The Call | |||
The Host | |||
Parker | |||
Tyler Perry Presents Peeples | |||
By way of explanation.....
Jason Statham in a Tyler Perry movie is an idea whose time has come. |
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8. | So Many Great Actors in Such a Terrible Looking Movie | ||
Buried | |||
The Godfather | |||
The Godfather Part II | |||
Movie 43 | |||
By way of explanation.....
Okay, we made this one easy on you because that description could fit a *lot* of movies. |
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9. | Stallone's Attempt to Demonstrate More Relevance Than Schwarzenegger | ||
Bullet to the Head | |||
The Host | |||
The Last Stand | |||
Parker | |||
By way of explanation.....
Can you believe these two are still getting work as lead actors? People from the '80s who came out of a coma in 2013 would feel right at home at the movies. |
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10. | Necrophilia, Only Funny and Oddly Romantic | ||
Before Midnight | |||
Brazil | |||
The Great Gatsby | |||
Warm Bodies | |||
By way of explanation.....
If you've never seen Brazil, I swear that reference is fitting. |
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11. | Jason Bateman vs. Melissa McCarthy | ||
The Change-Up | |||
The Heat | |||
Horrible Bosses | |||
Identity Thief | |||
12. | Big Pharma Is the Problem, Signed Steven Soderbergh | ||
Byzantium | |||
Frances Ha | |||
Mud | |||
Side Effects | |||
13. | Bruce Willis' Lousy Russian Vacation | ||
G. I. Joe: Retaliation | |||
A Good Day to Die Hard | |||
Red 2 | |||
Stand Up Guys | |||
14. | White Trash Witch Is No Bella Swan | ||
Beautiful Creatures | |||
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters | |||
Mama | |||
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 | |||
15. | Generic Nicholas Sparks Adaptation 2013 Version | ||
Beautiful Creatures | |||
Kiss of the Damned | |||
Not Even Trying | |||
Safe Haven | |||
By way of explanation.....
Not Even Trying would be the most honest title possible. For that matter, so is Kiss of the Damned. |
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16. | Aliens Want off This Planet | ||
Escape from Planet Earth | |||
Green Lantern | |||
Star Trek Into Darkness | |||
Turbo | |||
17. | Targeted to Kids Under 18 | ||
21 & Over | |||
The Great Gatsby | |||
The Hangover Part III | |||
The Purge | |||
18. | The Rock Deals Drugs Sans Mark Wahlberg | ||
Fast & Furious 6 | |||
The Internship | |||
Pain & Gain | |||
Snitch | |||
19. | The Rock Deals Drugs with Mark Wahlberg | ||
Fast & Furious 6 | |||
The Intern | |||
Pain & Gain | |||
Snitch | |||
20. | John Dies at the End | ||
Bullet to the Head | |||
Epic | |||
John Dies at the End | |||
Much Ado about Nothing | |||