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How Well Do You Know: Ted
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1. The film opens to a narration by this distinctive-voiced old coot:
Patrick Stewart
Donald Sutherland
Dick van Dyke
Ian McKellan
2. Little John Bennett receives Ted for:
His birthday
His first Communion
3. After Teddy comes to life, he skyrockets to fame, highlighted by a visit to this man's television talk show:
Arsenio Hall
Johnny Carson
David Letterman
Pat Sajak
4. John isn't exactly a stellar employee in his work at a/n:
Insurance agency
Car rental service
TV station
5. John's boss claims to know this mid-level movie star:
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Michael Ironside
Chevy Chase
Tom Skerritt
6. This cheesy 1980s cinematic classic has a great deal of influence over John and Ted and the events in the film:
Weird Science
Flash Gordon
The Goonies
Real Genius
7. In both their youth and their adult(?)-hood, John and Ted help each other cope with this very scary thing:
The dark
Whatever it is in the closet
8. A flashback reveals that John and Lori met.......
In a rollerskating rink
On a dance floor
On the bank of a link
At a hockey game
9. ...and John's embellished memory of their meeting is an homage to this comedy:
The Naked Gun
10. John tells Ted he has to move out, following an evening during which the apartment floor is.....soiled by:
A hooker
A delivery boy
A drug dealer
11. When Ted goes for a job interview at a grocery store, he gets the job by:
Appealing to the manager's memories of boyhood
Telling scandalous jokes
Doing a little song and dance
Speaking crassly
12. "Do you know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call a Dirty:"
13. One day at work, John gets a call from Ted enticing him to come over with promises of watching DVDs from this sitcom:
The Cosby Show
14. Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty.... Ted's girlfriend has which of these white trash names, with "Lynn" at the end:
15. Ted gets promoted because/in spite of having sex:
In the freezer
On top of produce
In the dairy case
With the baked goods
16. Ted convinces John to come to a party at which Sam Jones appears. Where is John when the call comes?
At work
At a party at Lori's boss's house
About to propose to Lori
In a theater lobby waiting for Lori
17. The party culminates with a visit from Ted's irate Asian neighbor, who comes into the apartment wielding:
A duck
A boom box
A meat cleaver
A machine gun
18. "You can do any 90s song with just vowels," Ted demonstrates at the party by singing a song from this band:
Hootie and the Blowfish
Spin Doctors
Pearl Jam
Alice in Chains
19. Things come to a head between John and Ted when, after the Lori/John break-up, John tells tell he wishes he had received this as a gift those many Christmases ago:
A Teddy Ruxpin
A Cabbage Patch kid
A He-Man
20. "Hey, play chopsticks, you jazzy slut," Ted tells this singer, who lets John sing at a concert which Lori attends:
Tori Amos
Norah Jones
Belinda Carlisle
Sarah McLaughlin
21. The song that John sings at the concert - hitting every single damned note, by the way - is the theme song from this James Bond movie:
A View to a Kill
The Spy Who Loved Me
Live and Let Die
22. When Donny and Robert kidnap Ted, the first thing that Ted sees at their house is:
A room full of teddy bears
A wall full of pictures of Ted
Severed limbs from stuffed animals tacked to the walls
A room full of stolen classic children's toys
23. When Ted swears in front of Robert, the boy gives Ted "an ouch" by:
Tearing off one of his ears
Pulling off one of his eyes
Pulling off one of his legs
Tearing off one of his arms
24. The climax of the film takes place at this Boston landmark:
Old North Church
Paul Revere's House
Fenway Park
Boston Gardens
25. Ted survives, despite being:
Torn in half
Impaled on a spike
Caught in a fan

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