1.
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"New Year's Eve": Babysitters Haley and Alex find themselves in unfamiliar territory when:
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Lily vomits on the living room carpet
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Luke brings a girl home
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Luke runs away
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Manny calls the police because underage Alex is drinking
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2.
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"New Year's Eve": So, Jay and Gloria ring in the New Year with Billy Dee Williams, and Cam and Mitchell do the same with older gentlemen at a local bar. Who are Claire and Phil celebrating with?
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their children
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a bail officer
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Claire's mom DeeDee
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nudists
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3.
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"Party Crasher": Manny is caught on camera __________, not realizing that his family is hiding in the next room waiting to surprise him on his birthday.
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kissing a girl
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stealing a piece of Gloria's jewelry
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sneaking a few sips of wine
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talking badly about Jay
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4.
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"Party Crasher": Which family member winds up in the Emergency Room multiple times during this episode?
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Manny
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Phil
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Luke
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Lily
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5.
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"Fulgencio": Gloria's mom surprises Jay by telling him she has never liked him. She does this while getting the baby's family heirloom gift ready to present at the Christening - what is it?
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a gun
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a silver rattle
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a bottle of Scotch
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a picture of the family crest
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6.
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"Fulgencio": Jay makes a speech at the Christening before it is about to begin that starts a feud within Gloria's family. What does he admit that causes such strife?
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He nearly broke up with Gloria when they started dating because he thought she was after his money
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He thinks that Gloria's mother is trying to break him and Gloria up
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The piece of pie he sent over to Gloria's table the day they met was actually meant for her sister
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He had hoped that the baby was a girl, and was disappointed to find he had another son
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7.
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"A Slight at the Opera": Claire is so obsessed about a golf ball on the floor she *could* have tripped on that she didn't notice something right in front of her - what?
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Haley and Dylan "playing house" with Lily and baby Joe
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Alex's infatuation with Dylan
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Luke has brought a girl home and they're making out on the living room couch
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Phil's golf clubs
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8.
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"A Slight at the Opera": Phil decides to cancel his business meeting and go to Luke's play after:
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Luke leaves him a sad voicemail
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finding a "World's Best Dad" mug that Luke gave him years ago
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hearing the song "Cat's in the Cradle"
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Jay talks to him about the importance of father/son relationships
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9.
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"Heart Broken": Claire collapses while out on an early Valentine's Day date with Phil. Phil is obviously worried, but is also upset with Claire - why?
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she called him by her ex-boyfriend's name while collapsing
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she never told him that her mother has the same heart condition she winds up with
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now they can't have "alone time"
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she called Jay from the hospital before calling him
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10.
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"Heart Breaker": Mitchell and Cameron wake up after their Valentine's Day party to find they had quite an interesting night. What is proof of their drunken antics?
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the moustaches drawn all over the faces in the family pictures
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the brand new car sitting in their driveway
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their cat, dyed pink
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Lily's new diamond tiara
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11.
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"Bad Hair Day": While at her college reunion, Claire meets up with her now- very successful friend with an unfortunate nickname. He tells Claire that "when all the hot girls call you ______, you tend to try a little harder." What's his nickname?
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Booger
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Tater
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Tiny
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Psycho
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12.
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"Bad Hair Day": Okay, so, various members of the family blackmail other family members into admitting they cut baby Joe's hair. We know Cam, Mitchell and Lily were responsible for the wig/super glue fiasco - who winds up confessing to Gloria?
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Manny
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Luke
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Jay
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Mitchell
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13.
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"Best Men": Gloria and Jay have a talk with Manny after his art teacher shows them examples of Manny's obsession with the female form. Gloria thinks this is happening because she has been breastfeeding around the house, but it's not Gloria's "assets" Manny has noticed - it's _____.
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Claire
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the nanny
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Haley
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Alex
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14.
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"Best Men": Claire and Haley meet up and watch Haley's band play at a local coffee house. What is Haley's band's name?
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The Rolling Tones
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The Moody Gnus
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Electric Light Dorkestra
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Purple Floyd
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15.
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"The Wow Factor": Cam and Claire, in the process of renovating and flipping a house, both have tricks up their sleeves when working with the other. Claire's method to get Cam to reign in the spending is called "The Number Dump". Cam's plan to get the (sometimes pricey) decorations he wants is called:
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The Liza Minelli
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The Trojan Horse
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The Drama Queen
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The Little Red Corvette
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16.
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"The Wow Factor": While Gloria is at a reading of Moby Dick with Manny, Jay has "bonding time" with baby Joe. Instead of taking the Joe to his playtime class, Jay takes him to:
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an Audi dealership
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the amusement park
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the new James Bond movie
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Claire and Phil's house
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17.
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"The Future Dunphys": While out with Gloria on a "girl's day", Lily drops what bombshell?
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she wants to run away
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she's kissed every boy in her class
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she's gay
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Mitchell and Cam are splitting up
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18.
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"The Future Dunphys": Jay's tour of a private school with Manny takes an unexpected turn when:
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Jay runs into the woman he dated before meeting and marrying Gloria
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they spot Javier (Manny's father) there - he's dating one of the teachers
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Manny gets into a fight with another potential student
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Manny implodes during the interview
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19.
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"Flip Flop": Gloria freaks out after meeting her ex-husband's new girlfriend, who is not only intelligent and attractive, but close to Manny. Gloria's insecurities come out while playing a family game of Charades. What "charade", unfamiliar to her, does Gloria get stuck with?
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Sweeney Todd
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A Clockwork Orange
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Citizen Kane
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Les Miserables
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20.
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"Flip Flop": The gang tries to sell the house they're flipping to a staff member at Luke's school. They stalk his Facebook page and fill the house with items he might like, based on his profile. The plan backfires, though, when:
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the guy finds a framed picture of his girlfriend hanging on the wall
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Cam mentions the guy's dog by name
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Haley, while asking him out, tells him that he needs more pictures of himself up on Facebook
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the guy walks by the laptop and sees his profile still up on the screen
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21.
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"Career Day": Mitchell and Cameron have a "Tooth Fairy Fail" after -
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mistakenly putting a $100 bill under Lily's pillow
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forgetting to put anything under Lily's pillow
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Lily catches them taking the tooth from under her pillow
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Cam's cell phone falls out of his pocket and Lily figures out what happened
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22.
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"Career Day": Phil's career day presentation is ruined by the appearance of rival realtor Gil Thorpe. What gift does Gil give out to the students during his presentation?
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lawn signs
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combs
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dental floss
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pickles
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23.
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"My Hero": While at a fundraiser, Phil helps Gloria learn the one thing she's embarrassed she can't do - _________.
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whistle
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roller skate
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do a cartwheel
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jump rope
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24.
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"My Hero": Claire avoids Jay after he offers her a job working for him. She eventually accepts the job after:
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Gloria talks to her about how much Jay respects and admires her
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talking to Haley about her college-related fears
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hearing Jay compliment Cam on his and Mitchell's happy relationship
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watching Phil help Luke with his school essay
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25.
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"Games People Play": Cam is accused of sabotaging one of Lily's gymnastics competitors - resulting in Lily winning the meet - after:
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the bun he puts in the competitor's hair falls out of place
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his yelling distracts a competitor, causing her to trip during her mat routine
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he accidentally locks one of the competitors in a bathroom stall
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Lily misunderstands something he said to her and pushes her competitor down, causing her to twist her ankle
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26.
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"Games People Play": Why doesn't Manny want Jay and Gloria to attend his poetry reading?
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He has a crush on one of the girls there, and he doesn't want Jay and Gloria around to embarrass him
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He has asked his dad to be there and doesn't want to hurt Jay's feelings
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The other kids have been making fun of him because of his close relationship with Gloria
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Some of the poetry he has written paints Gloria in an unflattering light
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27.
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"Goodnight, Gracie": Phil's late mother had one last request - she wanted Phil to fix her husband/his father up with a woman who lives down the street. Phil and Claire visit her, pretending to be:
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canvassing missionaries spreading God's word
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looking for their lost dog
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selling vacuum cleaners
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cable repairmen
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28.
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"Goodnight, Gracie": Phil's mom left her grandchildren a gift. Alex's gift happens to be a lighter - accompanied by a lovely story. Who did the lighter belong to?
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Paul Newman
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Humphrey Bogart
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Mick Jagger
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Phil's father
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