1. | "Where's agent Barton?" | ||
"The hawk? Up in his nest." | |||
"The nest. He does all his best brooding there." | |||
"Shooting things, I'm sure." | |||
"Wherever agent Romanoff is." | |||
2. | "The Cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right?" | ||
"Doors open from both sides..." | |||
"Lock this door and throw away the key." | |||
"Space aliens and humans are always best friends, right?" | |||
"We close the door and the knocking stops." | |||
3. | "Your outdated information betrays you. The famous Black Widow is just another pretty face." | ||
"In a great outfit. Don't undersell me." | |||
"Information is a conduit to the soul." | |||
"You are just an unbathed henchman in a hot basement." | |||
"You really think I’m pretty?" | |||
4. | "Trying to get me back in the world?" | ||
"Captain America should be on American soil." | |||
"I want to introduce you to a strange billionaire." | |||
"The world misses you." | |||
"Trying to save it." | |||
5. | "At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me." | ||
"Cynicism doesn't suit you, Mr. Rogers." | |||
"Have you ever seen a not so little green man?" | |||
"Remember you said that when you meet the Scandinavian." | |||
"Ten bucks says you’re wrong." | |||
6. | "You know, I thought we were having a moment." | ||
"I was having twelve percent of a moment." | |||
"Men never know these things." | |||
"We were but then you started talking..." | |||
"Why would you possibly think that? Was it the lingerie?" | |||
7. | "It was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. Thought Coulson was gonna swoon." | ||
"Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?" | |||
"I wish I could make a woman feel that way." | |||
"Is Coulson the one with the eye patch?" | |||
"That's a quick way to get a dishonorable discharge." | |||
8. | "These guys come from legend. They’re basically Gods." | ||
"I'm a lowly Captain and I still think I can take him." | |||
"People said the same thing about a certain German and we all know how that turned out." | |||
"That God looks like a bleeder." | |||
"There’s only one God ma’am, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that." | |||
9. | "I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki." | ||
"Hawkeye is the true threat" | |||
"Hulk is the true threat" | |||
"That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats" | |||
"Thor will keep him in check" | |||
10. | "That man..." | ||
"is green?" | |||
"is playing Galaga!" | |||
"is wearing a horny helmet!" | |||
"is a woman!" | |||
By way of explanation.....
Fun fact: The Avengers Lego set recreates this scene straight down to the crewman playing a videogame |
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11. | "It’s good to meet you, Doctor Banner. Your work on anti-electronic collisions is unparalleled." | ||
"And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster." | |||
"and your hair is magnificent! Do you use conditioner?" | |||
"but I've been wondering. Does...all of you grow larger and greener?" | |||
"Plus, I get injured a lot so it's nice to have a doctor around." | |||
12. | "You think Fury’s hiding something?" | ||
"He’s a spy. Captain, he’s THE spy. His secrets have secrets." | |||
"I bet his other eye works fine. He's just eccentric enough to wear a patch for kicks." | |||
"Nick Fury lies more by breakfast than all my lawyers lie in an entire day." | |||
"Stark, compared to you, he's a paragon of honesty." | |||
13. | "When he screams, I’ll split his skull! This is my bargain..." | ||
"as the no-longer Odinson." | |||
"this is your deal with the devil." | |||
"very generous terms because you're such a pretty lady." | |||
"you mewling quim." | |||
By way of explanation.....
I love how proud Joss Whedon is of getting the words "mewling quim" in the movie. |
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14. | "Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?" | ||
"Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist." | |||
"Hero who saved thousands in the Middle East." | |||
"Naked, cold and a high risk candidate for heart failure." | |||
"Nestled in the goodness of Mama Stark's love." | |||
15. | "I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and..." | ||
"all I got for my trouble was a visit from the Tooth Fairy." | |||
"tried to pull the trigger. My inner green man wouldn't let me." | |||
"the other guy spit it out." | |||
"tried to end it. I almost choked to death on the bullet." | |||
By way of explanation.....
In case you were wondering, Hulk spits rather than swallows. |
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16. | "I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position. What's it look like in there?" | ||
"An inescapable maze." | |||
"It seems to run on some form of electricity." | |||
"My brain with a lot more dimples." | |||
"Wire City." | |||
17. | "Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?" | ||
"We have a Hulk." | |||
"We have an Iron Man." | |||
"We have a better God." | |||
"You lack conviction." | |||
By way of explanation.....
Poor doomed Agent Coulson |
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18. |
"Why am I back? How did you get him out?" "Cognitive recalibration..." |
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"Hulk brained you." | |||
"I hit you really hard in the head." | |||
"I kissed you. Don't tell your wife. Or think about me in the shower later." | |||
"Thor's hammer packs a wallop." | |||
19. | "Those cards, they were in Coulson’s locker, not in his jacket." | ||
"His jacket was in his locker. As far anybody knows." | |||
"I lied. It's all I do." | |||
"I will deport you to Latveria if you ever tell anybody." | |||
"They needed the push." | |||
20. | "Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity." | ||
"Actually, I’m planning to threaten you." | |||
"There is no humanity in the icy heart of a Frost Giant." | |||
"We both know you're not human." | |||
"You should give up now while you still get to keep that stupid helmet." | |||
21. | "I have an army." | ||
"That army hates your guts. It helps to know you." | |||
"We have a crazy lady in a cat suit." | |||
"We have a Hulk." | |||
"We have a true Asgardian. And aren't you the jealous brother cliche?" | |||
22. | "Just like Budapest all over again!" | ||
"Didn't I die in Budapest?" | |||
"That was the last Black Widow. And she died that time." | |||
"When do we get to sing Happy Birthday to the bad guy this time?" | |||
"You and I remember Budapest very differently." | |||
23. | "That’s my secret, Cap." | ||
"The Hulk is my only friend." | |||
"I'm always angry." | |||
"My costume is Bruce Banner, not The Hulk." | |||
"Without the gamma radiation, I'm nobody." | |||
24. | "All right, Hey. All right. Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day." | ||
"Government superhero holiday." | |||
"Paid vacation." | |||
"We will all meet at the hospital and have various surgeries performed." | |||
"You ever tried shawarma?" | |||
By way of explanation.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf6uozvtggY |
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25. | "Enough! You are, all of you, beneath me. I am a God, dull creature, and I will not be bullied by..." | ||
You know what this answer is... | |||
In fact, let's all get ready to say it together. | |||
Say it? Hell no. Let's SHOUT it! | |||
*wham* *wham* *wham* PUNY GOD!!! | |||
By way of explanation.....
This is far and away the best movie moment of 2012. |
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