| 1. | "Where's agent Barton?" | ||
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"The hawk? Up in his nest." | ||
| "The nest. He does all his best brooding there." | |||
| "Shooting things, I'm sure." | |||
| "Wherever agent Romanoff is." | |||
| 2. | "The Cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right?" | ||
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"Doors open from both sides..." | ||
| "Lock this door and throw away the key." | |||
| "Space aliens and humans are always best friends, right?" | |||
| "We close the door and the knocking stops." | |||
| 3. | "Your outdated information betrays you. The famous Black Widow is just another pretty face." | ||
| "In a great outfit. Don't undersell me." | |||
| "Information is a conduit to the soul." | |||
| "You are just an unbathed henchman in a hot basement." | |||
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"You really think I’m pretty?" | ||
| 4. | "Trying to get me back in the world?" | ||
| "Captain America should be on American soil." | |||
| "I want to introduce you to a strange billionaire." | |||
| "The world misses you." | |||
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"Trying to save it." | ||
| 5. | "At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me." | ||
| "Cynicism doesn't suit you, Mr. Rogers." | |||
| "Have you ever seen a not so little green man?" | |||
| "Remember you said that when you meet the Scandinavian." | |||
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"Ten bucks says you’re wrong." | ||
| 6. | "You know, I thought we were having a moment." | ||
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"I was having twelve percent of a moment." | ||
| "Men never know these things." | |||
| "We were but then you started talking..." | |||
| "Why would you possibly think that? Was it the lingerie?" | |||
| 7. | "It was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. Thought Coulson was gonna swoon." | ||
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"Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?" | ||
| "I wish I could make a woman feel that way." | |||
| "Is Coulson the one with the eye patch?" | |||
| "That's a quick way to get a dishonorable discharge." | |||
| 8. | "These guys come from legend. They’re basically Gods." | ||
| "I'm a lowly Captain and I still think I can take him." | |||
| "People said the same thing about a certain German and we all know how that turned out." | |||
| "That God looks like a bleeder." | |||
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"There’s only one God ma’am, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that." | ||
| 9. | "I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki." | ||
| "Hawkeye is the true threat" | |||
| "Hulk is the true threat" | |||
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"That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats" | ||
| "Thor will keep him in check" | |||
| 10. | "That man..." | ||
| "is green?" | |||
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"is playing Galaga!" | ||
| "is wearing a horny helmet!" | |||
| "is a woman!" | |||
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By way of explanation.....
Fun fact: The Avengers Lego set recreates this scene straight down to the crewman playing a videogame |
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| 11. | "It’s good to meet you, Doctor Banner. Your work on anti-electronic collisions is unparalleled." | ||
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"And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster." | ||
| "and your hair is magnificent! Do you use conditioner?" | |||
| "but I've been wondering. Does...all of you grow larger and greener?" | |||
| "Plus, I get injured a lot so it's nice to have a doctor around." | |||
| 12. | "You think Fury’s hiding something?" | ||
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"He’s a spy. Captain, he’s THE spy. His secrets have secrets." | ||
| "I bet his other eye works fine. He's just eccentric enough to wear a patch for kicks." | |||
| "Nick Fury lies more by breakfast than all my lawyers lie in an entire day." | |||
| "Stark, compared to you, he's a paragon of honesty." | |||
| 13. | "When he screams, I’ll split his skull! This is my bargain..." | ||
| "as the no-longer Odinson." | |||
| "this is your deal with the devil." | |||
| "very generous terms because you're such a pretty lady." | |||
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"you mewling quim." | ||
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By way of explanation.....
I love how proud Joss Whedon is of getting the words "mewling quim" in the movie. |
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| 14. | "Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?" | ||
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"Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist." | ||
| "Hero who saved thousands in the Middle East." | |||
| "Naked, cold and a high risk candidate for heart failure." | |||
| "Nestled in the goodness of Mama Stark's love." | |||
| 15. | "I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and..." | ||
| "all I got for my trouble was a visit from the Tooth Fairy." | |||
| "tried to pull the trigger. My inner green man wouldn't let me." | |||
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"the other guy spit it out." | ||
| "tried to end it. I almost choked to death on the bullet." | |||
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By way of explanation.....
In case you were wondering, Hulk spits rather than swallows. |
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| 16. | "I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position. What's it look like in there?" | ||
| "An inescapable maze." | |||
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"It seems to run on some form of electricity." | ||
| "My brain with a lot more dimples." | |||
| "Wire City." | |||
| 17. | "Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?" | ||
| "We have a Hulk." | |||
| "We have an Iron Man." | |||
| "We have a better God." | |||
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"You lack conviction." | ||
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By way of explanation.....
Poor doomed Agent Coulson |
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| 18. |
"Why am I back? How did you get him out?" "Cognitive recalibration..." |
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| "Hulk brained you." | |||
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"I hit you really hard in the head." | ||
| "I kissed you. Don't tell your wife. Or think about me in the shower later." | |||
| "Thor's hammer packs a wallop." | |||
| 19. | "Those cards, they were in Coulson’s locker, not in his jacket." | ||
| "His jacket was in his locker. As far anybody knows." | |||
| "I lied. It's all I do." | |||
| "I will deport you to Latveria if you ever tell anybody." | |||
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"They needed the push." | ||
| 20. | "Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity." | ||
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"Actually, I’m planning to threaten you." | ||
| "There is no humanity in the icy heart of a Frost Giant." | |||
| "We both know you're not human." | |||
| "You should give up now while you still get to keep that stupid helmet." | |||
| 21. | "I have an army." | ||
| "That army hates your guts. It helps to know you." | |||
| "We have a crazy lady in a cat suit." | |||
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"We have a Hulk." | ||
| "We have a true Asgardian. And aren't you the jealous brother cliche?" | |||
| 22. | "Just like Budapest all over again!" | ||
| "Didn't I die in Budapest?" | |||
| "That was the last Black Widow. And she died that time." | |||
| "When do we get to sing Happy Birthday to the bad guy this time?" | |||
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"You and I remember Budapest very differently." | ||
| 23. | "That’s my secret, Cap." | ||
| "The Hulk is my only friend." | |||
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"I'm always angry." | ||
| "My costume is Bruce Banner, not The Hulk." | |||
| "Without the gamma radiation, I'm nobody." | |||
| 24. | "All right, Hey. All right. Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day." | ||
| "Government superhero holiday." | |||
| "Paid vacation." | |||
| "We will all meet at the hospital and have various surgeries performed." | |||
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"You ever tried shawarma?" | ||
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By way of explanation.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf6uozvtggY |
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| 25. | "Enough! You are, all of you, beneath me. I am a God, dull creature, and I will not be bullied by..." | ||
| You know what this answer is... | |||
| In fact, let's all get ready to say it together. | |||
| Say it? Hell no. Let's SHOUT it! | |||
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*wham* *wham* *wham* PUNY GOD!!! | ||
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By way of explanation.....
This is far and away the best movie moment of 2012. |
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