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How Well Do You Know: The Cabin in the Woods: Hard Version
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Unicorns have a *lot* of pent up anger.

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It's not necessarily that he built up a tolerance to pot, but that the Chem Dept missed one of his stashes, and since that was in his system, the other chemicals couldn't get to him.
atypicalheart 10/24/13 9:42 pm


1. When the United States lost in 98, which department screwed up?
2. The cantankerous old man who owns the gas station is right about one aspect of the movie. He aptly names one of the archetypes although the person doesn't take kindly to the inference. Who is it?
The Fool
The Philistine
The Virgin
The Whore
By way of explanation.....
"You were rude to my friend." "*scoffs* That whore?"
3. Who wins the betting pool?
The Director
Ronald the Intern
Maintenance and Ronald the Intern
By way of explanation.....
Ronald the Intern has come along way since he killed Willow's girlfriend in season 6 of Buffy. I don't have anything funny to add about Maintenance.
4. Which two archetypes stare at one another through a two-way mirror?
The Athlete and the Virgin
The Athlete and the Whore
The Fool and the Virgin
The Scholar and the Virgin
By way of explanation.....
Holden aka The Scholar initially stares at Dana aka The Virgin before they switch rooms and she falls guilty to the same temptation.
5. The Fool draws the line in the sand at what?
Calling The Harbinger and asking for help.
Going down into the basement
Reading the Latin
Throwing away the bong tumbler
By way of explanation.....
Frankly, the entire Latin language is nothing but trouble in mystical cinema.
6. As is the case with elephants versus elephant seals, zombies are not the same as...
Fast Zombies
Nuclear Zombies
Michael Jackson's Thriller Zombies
Zombie Redneck Torture Family
7. Every other place in the world has failed already except for...
By way of explanation.....
Fear not, citizens of Kyoto! You're about to pull an upset!
8. Which of the doomed sexy teens keeps hearing voices?
The Athlete
The Fool
The Scholar
The Virgin
9. Something else The Fool notices (did you get the last question right?) is that...
The pot isn't strong enough anymore
The "Virgin" is falsely advertised
There are no stars
There should be lightning accompanying the rain
By way of explanation.....
While The Fool does say that there are no stars, Chris Hemsworth has since become rather famous.
10. What do The Virgin and The Scholar discover in the basement?
The Black Room
The joys of chemically enhanced desperation sex
Patience's Remains
The Diary cannot be incinerated
By way of explanation.....
Option 2 sounds like a lotta fun, though.
11. Which of these people is not stabbed in The Cabin or the surrounding forest?
The Athlete
The Scholar
The Virgin
The Whore
By way of explanation.....
The Athlete is stabbed when The Whore is carved up and The Scholar gets impaled in The Black Room before escaping.
12. As The Virgin is Zombie Redneck Torture Family tortured, what song plays in the Control Room?
Gangnam Style
Roll With the Changes
Walking on Sunshine
13. The Control Room celebration ends when this happens...
The elevator buzzer rings
The merman arrives
The red phone rings
The tequila runs dry
By way of explanation.....
Movie law: red phones are always bad.
14. "Yeah, I had to..."
"dismember that guy with a trowel."
"electrocute that guy with a toaster."
"hide in the grave until I finished crying."
"spit on his grave."
By way of explanation.....
FYI: trowel dismemberment is a class A felony in your area.
15. Why is Marty the Fool less susceptible to the chemical dosing than his peers?
His drug addiction has created a tolerance.
His frequent hallucinations are not very different from current circumstances.
His medical condition, asthma, prevents full inhalation.
There is no explanation offered in the movie.
By way of explanation.....
The hidden message of the movie is that smoking pot can saves the lives of college students, at least temporarily.
16. Who is the first monster The Virgin and The Fool encounter on the elevator?
Ballerina with face teeth
By way of explanation.....
Always lead with the lycanthrope.
17. "They made us choose..."
"how we die."
"if the world ends."
"where to spend Spring Break."
"who dies first."
18. Who voices the statement, "Forgive us...and let us get it over with?"
Daniel Truman, the head of security
The Director
Wendy Lin aka Amy Acker (you know, Fred!)
Mordecai the Harbinger
By way of explanation.....
The Director would score points for honesty if it weren't for the whole "trying to kill you" aspect.
19. What stops the security guard from removing The Virgin from the elevator?
Bulletproof glass
Dismembered zombie arm grabs him
Fireproof glass
The Fool's killing trowel
By way of explanation.....
The zombie arm moves quite well considering that it is no longer attached to any central nervous system.
20. The ding of the elevator means...
More monsters.
More security guards.
The power is working again.
The sexy teens have reached the catacombs.
By way of explanation.....
The use of the elevator ding to foreshadow further horror is sublime.
21. Which monster finally breaks into the fortified area where The Virgin and The Fool are hiding?
A giant bat
A giant snake
A small mouse with inexplicably large fangs
By way of explanation.....
I wish the answer were Kevin. Alas, it's a giant bat. There needs to be a sequel entitled The Cabin in the Woods 2: Kevin.
22. Who gets shot at least three times before (presumably) stabbing a female security officer?
An Angry Molesting Tree
A clown
A giant snake
A unicorn
By way of explanation.....
Angry Molesting Tree is actually listed on the dry erase board, which causes me to wonder if there is such thing as a Happy Molesting Tree.
23. Who kills Gary Sitterson (Richard Jenkins)?
The Director
The Fool
The Virgin
By way of explanation.....
The Virgin draws first blood from a man described as having issues with women in an early scene. His murder probably won't help any in this regard.
24. Who points a gun at The Fool and threatens to kill him at the end?
The Director
Patience Buckner
The Virgin
By way of explanation.....
In her defense, the whole world is threatened by his existence.
25. Who kills The Director?
The Fool
Patience Buckner
The Virgin
A Werewolf
By way of explanation.....
Believe it or not, any of these could have been correct as they all appear at the end. In the end, Patience delivers the axe to the head.

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