1.
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"Bringing Up Baby": Mitchell and Cam are both pretty sad about not getting the baby they were planning on adopting. Lily uses the situation to her advantage, guilting her dads into:
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taking her to Disneyland
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giving her a bigger bedroom
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taking her on a shopping spree
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getting her a kitten
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2.
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"Bringing Up Baby": Knowing Jay tends to speak his mind when he's unhappy with certain situations, one family member tries to get to him before Gloria announces she's pregnant. Who warns Jay that he will be receiving some surprising news?
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Phil
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Manny
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Claire
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Luke
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3.
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"Schooled": Phil makes a serious faux pas while getting Haley settled into her dorm room when he:
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sets off the dorm's fire alarm after lighting some incense
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insults Haley's RA after making fun of the band on his t-shirt
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squeezes the butt of Haley's roommate after mistaking her for Claire
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breaks the foot of Haley's roommate's father after dropping a box on his foot
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4.
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"Schooled": How does Manny find out that Jay and Gloria skipped the baby class he wanted them to take?
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The instructor called the house to say they forgot a pair of sunglasses in class when they left early
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While on his way home via school bus, he sees them outside a local Starbucks
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Jay accidentally "butt-dials" the home phone and Manny can hear they are in the car
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He goes to the hospital to join them for class, only to find they are not there
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5.
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"Snip": Claire arrives home to change her shirt after getting sprayed with yogurt (don't ask) and finds another surprise - what?
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Dylan is sitting on the porch, crying because he misses Haley
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Alex has skipped school
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Phil has decided clothing is optional while working out
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Gloria is moving her stuff into the basement after a fight with Jay
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6.
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"Snip": Homemaker Cam finally finds fulfillment outside of the home. He gets a job as:
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a clown at a neighborhood restaurant
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a music teacher at Manny's school
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a PA announcer at the local minor league baseball stadium
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a real estate agent at Phil's company
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7.
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"The Butler's Escape": Jay and Manny are at the end of their ropes, due to Gloria's _______.
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snoring
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nesting
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hiccuping
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excessive crying
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8.
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"The Butler's Escape": Mitchell tricks Cam into thinking that his first day as homemaker went swimmingly after:
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hiring a maid and a chef
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using a personal assistant
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getting Claire to help him with the tasks Cam asked him to do
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asking their friends Pepper and Longinus to babysit Lily so he can get uninterrupted housework done
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9.
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"Open House of Horrors": Mitchell spends the episode trying to hide from Cameron that he told Lily a little white lie. What did he tell her?
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she is allergic to all candy
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children who misbehave get put back up for adoption
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her mother is a princess
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Gloria used to be a professional Tooth Fairy before marrying Jay
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10.
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"Open House of Horrors": Halloween-lover Claire is really sad that she can't set up the Dunphy house in its usual scary setup. What happened at the Dunphy house last Halloween that resulted in a petition from the neighbors to make this Halloween less scary?
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Claire used a neighbor's baby in a "Rosemary's Baby" display outside their house.
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Claire nearly gave a trick-or-treating dad a heart attack after scaring him.
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The screams coming from the Dunphy house, due to the scariness inside, resulted in multiple police calls.
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A 12-year old peed his pants after seeing Claire coming towards him as a zombie.
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11.
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"Yard Sale": Claire, Cameron and Mitchell join forces to do what?
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get Jay to sell his porn collection
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prevent Phil from buying a poker table
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convince Alex that her new "boyfriend" is gay
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buy as many baby clothes for Jay and Gloria as they can get their hands on
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12.
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"Open House": Gloria refuses to sell one item, a suitcase of hers that Manny found in the attic. She also refuses to tell anyone what is inside the trunk, until Luke and Manny snoop. What is inside the suitcase?
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a ventriloquist dummy
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$10,000
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embarrassing home movies from her youth
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her prom dress
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13.
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"Arrested": Cam watches Luke and Alex while Claire, Phil and Mitchell are off getting Haley out of jail. Disaster strikes when Luke winds up in the hospital - why?
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he is allergic to an ingredient in the fake bacon Cam cooked for him
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Lily accidentally pushes him up the stairs and he hurts himself on the step Phil still hasn't fixed
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He runs into the back of the garbage truck, trying to chase the truck down so he can get back a video game he accidentally threw out
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Cam attempts to show off his new skill of juggling knives and accidentally cuts Luke's arm
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14.
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"Arrested": Who agrees to go to the spoken word festival with Manny?
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Phil
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Jay's ex-wife Deedee
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Gloria's obstetrician
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Haley's ex-boyfriend Dylan
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15.
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"Mistery Date": Jay admits to Mitchell that he's seeing a therapist. What issue is bothering him enough that he felt the need to seek professional help?
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his office is being turned into a nursery
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he has to sell his convertible for a minivan
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he hates the baby names Gloria has picked out
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he is worried Gloria will make him get rid of the dog when the baby arrives
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16.
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"Mistery Date": After crashing a few bar mitzvahs, Manny, with Luke's help, finally finds the girl who smiled at him in the hotel lobby. They meet up for a short rendezvous:
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in the hotel pool
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in the parking garage
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in a photo booth
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at the local mall's food court
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17.
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"When a Tree Falls": Jay tries to leave Manny's friend's birthday party, but Phil convinces him to stay and hang out with the other dads. This plan doesn't work so well for Phil when:
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the dads tell Phil he's out of the group, as they want Jay to hang out with them instead
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Jay ridicules Phil, to the amusement of the other dads
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one of the dads admits to Jay in private that the others think Phil is a bad father
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one of the dads makes fun of Claire, not realizing that Jay is her father. Jay doesn't respond nicely.
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18.
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"When a Tree Falls": Claire and Gloria encounter problems at Costco when:
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Claire walks out of the store without paying for a sweatshirt
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Another shopper accidentally bumps into Claire's shopping cart and Gloria flips out
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Gloria gets angry at not having enough cash on hand to buy a hot dog at the food counter
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Claire gets into a shoving match with the only other person in the store who wants the last bottle of laundry detergent
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19.
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"Diamond in the Rough": Claire and Cam want to try flipping houses for profit. Phil and Mitchell say they are also interested in trying it, even though they are totally against the idea. How do Claire and Cam find out their spouses are lying to them?
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Claire receives a phone call from the seller of the house, who was wondering why Phil called to say he was no longer interested
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Luke overhears Mitchell and Phil talking, then rats them out to Claire after Phil refuses to buy him a new video game
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Mitchell and Phil text each other, forgetting the "reply all" feature
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Lily overhears part of Mitchell and Phil's conversation and repeats it back to Cam, thinking they were talking about getting her a horse
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20.
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"Diamond in the Rough": Jay, to Gloria: "You're as close to perfect as a woman gets. Nothing wrong with one tiny little flaw." What is the flaw of which he speaks?
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her choice of hair color
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her dance moves
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her lack of mastery of the English language
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her singing voice
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