1.
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OPJ pours one out for Junior Seau. During his stellar 20 year career, the 10-time All-Pro played for each of the following teams, except:
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San Diego
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Dallas
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New England
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Miami
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2.
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A turbulent NFL off-season continued as four current or former Saints players were suspended for their participation in the bounty program. This one is gone for the year:
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Anthony Hargrove
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Will Smith
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Scott Fujita
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Jonathan Vilma
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3.
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Meanwhile, this defensive stud went and tore his Achilles, and is likely out for the season:
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Ndamukong Suh
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Terrell Suggs
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Elvis Dumerville
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Mario Williams
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4.
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How about some good NFL news, for the love of Benji? This team signed Rutgers' Eric LeGrand, who hasn't walked in 19 months after being left paralyzed from the neck down while making a tackle during a game:
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Cleveland
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Dallas
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Tampa Bay
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San Diego
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5.
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This woeful NBA franchise wasted no time in parting ways with its head coach as soon as the season ended:
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Wizards
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Kings
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Hornets
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Bobcats
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6.
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It's best not to go mano-a-mano with solidly constructed inanimate objects. Just ask Amare Stoudamire, whose attempts to fustigate ______________ resulted in lacerations to his hand and sidelined him for his team's first-round series:
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A brick wall
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A water fountain
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A barbell
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A fire extinguisher
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7.
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If you are an MLB team in first place as of the end of April, please take a step forward. Whoa, not so fast there....
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Indians
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Yankees
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Nationals
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Cardinals
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8.
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You NBA Coach of the Year is the man to tells the _________ what to do:
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Heat
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Bulls
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Spurs
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Lakers
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9.
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I would like to thank my teammates because without their poor defense and letting people fly by them I wouldn’t get credit for stepping up.. Meanwhile, this recipient of the Defensive Player of the Year award brought the funny with his remarks accepting the award:
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Reggie Evans
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Tyson Chandler
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Chris Paul
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Kevin Garnett
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10.
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This NFL coach tried to dredge up old sour grapes, remarking that the Patriot's championships "got asterisks now; it's been stained" while referring to the Spygate scandal of 2007:
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John Harbaugh
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Rex Ryan
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Mike Tomlin
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Mike Shannahan
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11.
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It's a widely known fact that Albert Pujols homers for the first time in a season the day after he is benched. Probably. The Angel finally went yard a day after sitting in Sunday's game against the:
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Orioles
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Blue Jays
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White Sox
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A's
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12.
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It's time to once again update your Conference Realignment Scorecard, as Butler is saying so long to the Horizon League to go play in the sandbox of the:
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Big East
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Atlantic 10
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Metro Athletic
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C-USA
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13.
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There was much rejoicing following Jared "Jeff" Weaver's no hitter this week. Weaver's achievement came against the:
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Red Sox
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Twins
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Tigers
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Mariners
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14.
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Legs were a wee bit rubbery at the end of the triple-overtime thriller played by these two NHL playoff opponents:
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Rangers-Caps
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Blues-Kings
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Devils-Flyers
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Predators-Coyotes
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15.
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College basketball fans were dealt a blow with the announcement that this cross-conference rivalry would end its 43-year series:
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Memphis-Tennessee
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Indiana-Kentucky
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Utah-BYU
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Georgetown-Duke
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16.
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Mariano Rivera pledge to be back after tearing his ACL while doing this rather mundane task:
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Throwing batting practice
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Shagging balls for batting practice
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Running stairs
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Tripping on the dugout stairs
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17.
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The long-term injury bug also bit this star third baseman, who will be sidelined 4-8 weeks:
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Alex Rodriguez
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Adrian Beltre
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Hanley Ramirez
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Evan Longoria
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18.
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While young whippersnapper Bryce Harper has been impressing the masses, count this Phillies pitcher, who admitted to deliberately hitting the National on Sunday, as less than a fan:
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Cliff Lee
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Roy Halladay
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Cole Hammels
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Joe Blanton
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19.
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If you are an NBA team that was not swept in its first round series, please take a step forward. Not so fast there....
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New York Knicks
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Dallas Mavericks
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Denver Nuggets
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Memphis Grizzlies
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20.
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Following the Kentucky Derby, we're doing our darnedest to dodge the phone calls from our bookie Sally the Chin, but at least we watched a great race that was won by:
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I'll Have Another
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Daddy Long Legs
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Union Rags
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Bodemeister
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