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How Well Do You Know: The Simpsons: Bart Gets an F
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It’s book report day at Springfield Elementary. What book does Martin Prince report on?
The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck
Moby Dick, by Herman Melville
Bart’s book report is on Treasure Island, which he has not read. When challenged by Mrs Krabappel to name the pirate in Treasure Island, he names:
Captain Nemo
Captain Hook
Peg Leg Pete
Bart hasn’t been paying attention to a word Mrs Krabappel said. What was the last thing she said?
“It’s your own time you’re wasting!”
“That’s just your problem, you never try!”
“Straighten up and fly right!”
“I’m not going to say this again!”
Instead of doing homework, Bart is at the Noiseland Video Arcade, playing:
Rudolf’s Christmas Rampage
Escape from Grandma’s House
Junkyard Fighting Championship
Schoolyard Revenge
It’s Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie! What big gorilla movie do Bart and Homer watch together?
Gorilla At Large
Bride of the Gorilla
Kongo: The Littlest Gorilla
Gorilla the Conqueror
Lisa got an A to her vocabulary test, so it is pasted on the fridge, along with all her other tests. What is Bart’s contribution to the fridge?
a drawing of a cat
a drawing of a dog
a drawing of a pig
a drawing of Homer
Bart hasn’t studied for his American History test, but Sherri and Terri are willing to provide all of the following answers except:
the Pilgrims landed at sunny Acapulco
the name of the Pilgrims’ boat was the Spirit of St Louis
the Pilgrims made it through winter thanks to some friendly bears
the Pilgrims left England because of giant rats
Crisis brings out the best in Simpson. The school nurse diagnoses Bart with what disease?
advanced uromysitisis
mestastic sclerosis
apotixic macrovirus
amoria phlebitis
In exchange for Martin teaching Bart how to study, Bart gives Martin lessons on how not be a poindexter. However, Martin comes up with a mathematical formula explaining:
the negative correlation between one’s vocabulary and one’s number of friends
how the potential for mischief varies inversely with one’s proximity to the authority figure
the complementary relationship between the magnitude of someone’s difference from the social norm, and their level of persecution
how the pride a young lad takes in his achievements is positively associated with the probability that he will suffer a wedgie
Bart’s lessons continue. What prank does Martin play?
pretending to vomit in the cafeteria
sneaking laxatives into the teacher’s lounge coffee pot
pushing another boy into the girl’s lavatory
applying super-glue to the toilet seats
What is the last refuge of a scoundrel?
This episode marks the first time we hear Bart say:
Ay caramba!
Eat my shorts!
I’m Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
It’s Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of Springfield. Who are playing hockey?
Grampa Simpson and Jasper
Moe and Barney
Principal Skinner and Mrs Krabappel
Mr Burns and Smithers
At the First Continental Congress, what is John Hancock doing?
inventing the sled
building a snow fort to defend against the hated British
putting snow down John Adams’ back
writing his name in the snow
What applied knowledge does Bart demonstrate that gets him extra credit (and a passing grade of D-minus) on the history test?
Braddock’s defeat at the Battle of the Monongahela
the failure of Washington’s embassy to the French in the Upper Ohio
the surrender of Fort Necessity to the French in 1754
the Battle at Jumonville Glen

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