1.
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Which member of ESPN's Monday Night Football ensemble was awarded a new five year contract this week?
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Jon Gruden
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Mike Tirico
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Ron Jaworski
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Hank Williams, Jr.
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2.
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When the Broncos faced the Dolphins on Sunday, they did so without the services of ___________, who had been traded earlier in the week to the Rams:
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Eddie Royal
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Knowshon Moreno
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Brandon Lloyd
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Tim Tebow....wait, that's probably not correct
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3.
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Thanks to a schedule oddity, Sunday's NFL schedule featured:
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No divisional games
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No inter-conference games
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No matchups of former Super Bowl opponents
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No matchups of teams with winning records
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4.
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Oakland traded for a veteran quarterback who most recently played for ________________ for the low low price of two draft picks (including a #1 in 2012), which means only good things ahead for the black and silver, beginning with certainly not getting shut out by woeful Kansas City.
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Houston
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Miami
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Cincinnati
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Dallas
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5.
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The punishment meted out for the Harbaugh/Schwartz kungfufighting postgame fracas was:
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Game suspension for each
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$10K fine for each
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$50K fine for each
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Nothing
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6.
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#1 LSU easily handled SEC foe Auburn on Saturday, though the Tigers had do do so without:
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Three of its starters who were suspended
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Its head coach, who fell ill before game, on the sidelines
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Its regular home uniforms, which were mysteriously sabotaged in a suspicious laundry incident
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Its regular PA announcer, who passed away two days before the game
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7.
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Proving there are still some residual hard feelings from the War of 1812, the NFL staged a contest played between these two offensively-challenged teams at Wembley Stadium:
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Washington and Carolina
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Seattle and Cleveland
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Houston and Tennessee
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Chicago and Tampa Bay
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8.
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A trade that fell through might have saved Jerome Harrison's life, as a physical revealed a ____________.
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Brain tumor
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Heart murmur
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Broken vertebra
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Partial severed coronary artery
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9.
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Their governing conference suspended 10 players from these two teams after the first-half name calling/slapfight that broke out between:
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West Virginia-Syracuse
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Florida State-Maryland
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TCU-New Mexico
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UCLA-Arizona
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10.
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Colorado's inaugural Pac 12 season continues to be a brutal one. The Buffaloed managed a safety - but that's all - in a 45-2 loss to this team on Saturday:
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Oregon State
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Oregon
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Stanford
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UCLA
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11.
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The ____________ Chris Cook was arrested for domestic battery charges, was jailed and subsequently missed his team's game on Sunday:
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Lions'
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Cardinals'
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Vikings'
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Chargers'
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12.
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This NCAA team's quarterback became Division I's all-time offense leader on Saturday:
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Hawaii
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SMU
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Louisiana Tech
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Houston
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13.
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Showoff Albert Pujols showed off on Saturday with a prodigious performance in Game 3. Which of the following was not part of Albert's monster night?
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3 home runs
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5-6 at the plate
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2 stolen bases
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6 RBIs
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14.
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Now it's time for This Week in Last Second Game Winning Hail Mary Passes Upheld by Instant Replay, where we find that this team won this week on a last second game winning Hail Mary Pass that was upheld by instant replay:
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USC
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Michigan State
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Miami
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Virginia Tech
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15.
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It was a gloomy weekend for the Sooners, as Oklahoma's undefeated season was brought to an end. Blame the:
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Longhorns
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Cowboys
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Wildcats
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Red Raiders
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16.
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While Aaron Rodgers was leading the Pack to victory on Sunday, a day earlier, his NCAA record for consecutive completions was bettered by some dude named Dominique Davis who plays for:
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East Carolina
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Florida Atlantic
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Temple
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Miami (OH)
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17.
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There's this many teams left in the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes, by which we mean "teams that have yet to win a game:"
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1
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2
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3
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4
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18.
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A 7-1 victory over __________ left _____________ as the NHL's last final undefeated team:
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Detroit / Washington
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San Jose / Philadelphia
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Philadelphia / San Jose
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Washington / Detroit
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19.
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One of these four teams won the 2011 UFL Championship, which is very convenient for a multiple-choice quiz as they are the only four teams in the league:
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Las Vegas Locomotives
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Omaha Nighthawks
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Sacramento Mountain Lions
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Virginia Destroyers
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20.
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In our contractually obligated NASCAR question (when the hell are we going to start seeing any money from this alleged contract, anyway??), we read that Clint Boyer beat teammate Jeff Burton at this weekend's race at:
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Darlington
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Daytona
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Talledega
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Michigan
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21.
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If you played this team's defense, which had six interceptions Sunday, in your fantasy league, well, then, you're a freakin' genius.
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Broncos
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Chiefs
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Packers
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Panthers
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22.
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Peyton Manning doesn't technically play defense, but we're pretty sure he would have stopped the Saints from scoring this many points against the Manning-less Colts on Sunday night:
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56
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62
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67
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70
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23.
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This team is at the top of the college basketball rankings in the ESPN/USA Today Preaseason Coach's Poll
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Connecticut
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Kentucky
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North Carolina
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Butler
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24.
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Set your Tivos now for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups! They'll be airing on this network's family of stations:
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ESPN
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NBC
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ABC
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Fox
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25.
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Arian Foster went all Albert Pujols on the Titans Sunday, amassing an impressive ____________ all-purpose yards:
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243
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319
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189
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403
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