1. |
This is the entire Pawnee Ranger Handbook, as written by Ron Swanson. The complete text, which we've whited out, reads: |
||
Survive and Kill | |||
Challenge Yourself | |||
Swansonize | |||
Be a Man | |||
2. | Leslie hands out badges to the Pawnee Goddesses. The badges include each of the following, except for: | ||
Best Pillowfighter | |||
Best Penguin Blog | |||
Fliest Hairstyle | |||
Most Community Service | |||
3. | Donna wonders if Ben is bothered because this show may have been canceled: | ||
Fringe | |||
X Factor | |||
Stargate Universe | |||
Game of Thrones | |||
4. | As a reward for coming on the trip, Ron has bought for each of the Rangers gifts of: | ||
Sunshine and sharp knives | |||
Canvas sheet and a box | |||
Fresh air and fresh meat | |||
A rope and a big stick | |||
5. | Ann's sense of belonging with the other Goddesses is further diminished when: | ||
Her homemade candle won't light | |||
She sings the Goddess Anthem decidedly off key | |||
She uses granola to make a Cheerio necklace | |||
Her corn husk dolls look more like monsters | |||
6. | His entrance announced by a DJ, Tom enters bearing cupcakes iced with the words: | ||
It's All Good | |||
Be The Bomb | |||
In Dul Gence | |||
Treat Yo Self | |||
7. | Jerry's surprisingly hot daughter is named: | ||
Penelope | |||
Millicent | |||
Athena | |||
Ramona | |||
8. | Ben can't get down with the whole relaxation bit. There's something about __________ that makes him nervous. | ||
The sound of harps | |||
Proximity to needles | |||
Cool rushing water | |||
Robes | |||
9. | At the debate as to whether or not Rangers should be allowed to join the Goddesses, a boy named Darren gave an influential statement when he cited the Goddesses's possession of: | ||
Candy | |||
Sheets | |||
Girls | |||
iPads | |||
10. | Shopping for ridiculous clothes, Tom says that he's a ___________ candy cane. | ||
Silk/satin | |||
Denim/velour | |||
Cashmere/velvet | |||
Rhinestone/seersucker | |||
11. | Ann devised her fishing techniques from an episode of: | ||
Survivor | |||
I Love Lucy | |||
The Three Stooges | |||
Fear Factor | |||
12. | The first instruction given to the newly formed Swansons is to: | ||
Give yourself a sensible haircut | |||
Dig a proper trench | |||
Construct a working bear trap | |||
Snare a sizable hare | |||