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How Well Do You Know: New Girl, Season 1 Recap
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Answers:
1. "Pilot": What stripper name does Jess finally decide to go with when she surprises Spencer at their apartment with a not-so-sexy striptease?
Two Boobs Johnson
Tiger Boobs
Rebecca De Hornay
Cinnamon LaRue
 
2. "Pilot": What song do Schmidt, Coach and Nick break out into when they rescue Jess from being stood up at the restaurant?
Everything I Do (I Do It For You)
Have I Told You Lately (That I Love You)
My Heart Will Go On
(I've Had) The Time of My Life
 
3. "Kryptonite": With Winston moving back into the apartment - what object does he try to get back from Schmidt?
The Big Room
The Remote for the TV
The Jam-Boree T-Shirt
The Robe of Destiny
 
4. "Wedding": When looking at which dress Jess was going to wear to the wedding - what did Schmidt want to think when he saw Jess in her dress?
Boing!!!
When I see you, I want to be thinking who let the dirty slut out of the sluthouse?
How's my hair look?
I wonder if she's wearing panties
 
5. "Naked": What embarrassing activity is Nick doing when Jess walks in on him?
Nick is naked and shaving all his body hair.
Watching Backstreet Boys videos
Pleasuring himself while looking at the Victoria's Secret catalogue
Dancing naked to reggae music in front of a full length mirror
 
6. "Cece Crashes": What is Schmidt afraid of up on the roof?
A bird raised by cats
A dog with three legs
A cat raised by birds
It's just creepy up there...
 
7. "Thanksgiving": Which actor plays Paul, the music teacher at Jess' school that Jess is crushing on and invites to the apartment for Thanksgiving?
Justin Long
Howie Long
Bruce Willis
David Schwimmer
 
8. "Bells": What type of quartet does Jess teach (with Winston's help) to play Yankee Doodle Dandy?
Barbershop quartet
Drumline quartet
Handbell quartet
Electric bass quartet
 
9. "Bad in Bed": Why does Nick get stressed confirming his hair appointment?
He and Schmidt used to have the same haircut, and Nick doesn't want to end up looking like a douche
He dreads getting stuck in a chair and being forced to make conversation
He has a fear of scissors
He's broke and doesn't want to spend his last $40 on a hair cut when he could go out for sushi instead
 
10. "The 23rd": On the way to drop Nick off at the airport (finally) what do the gang stop to do?
They stop and bang on doors so Jess can see Candy Cane Lane lit up for Christmas
They stop to return Schmidt's sexy Santa shorts
They stop to debate whether Jess' gift for Paul of a 50 year old smoker's heart really was terrible
They stop to ask directions to the airport
 
11. "The Story of the 50": What celebrity did Schmidt lose the party bus to - sending his 29th birthday party plans into chaos?
Charlie Sheen
Nicholas Cage
Frankie Muniz
Rebecca DeMornay
 
12. "Jess and Julia": At the end of this episode, Schmidt finds out why his towel is always damp. Why is has it always been damp?
The bathroom is just too humid
Nick thought that he was using his own towel all along, when he was using Schmidt's towel
Nick would run Schmidt's towel under running water every night before he went to bed
Faulty Towel
 
13. "The Landlord": Which one is NOT one of Schmidt's 2007 resolutions written on the paper that Winston found in the closet?
Stop pursuing Caroline she's Nick's girl. Deal with it.
Find out where Winston gets his sparkle and steal it.
Stop eating so much CHEESE already
Just pick a color of Crocs and buy them already
 
14. "Valentine's Day": Which book does Schmidt quote about being an expert in flirting because "I have my 10,000 hours" when he's trying to help Jess pick up a random guy at the bar?
Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell
The Bible - GOD
He's Just Not That Into You - Liz Tuccillo / Greg Behrendt
Silence of the Lambs - Thomas Harris
 
15. "Bully": What happens when Jess sings a song in class to let the students know that it isn't okay to bully another student?
Brianna tapes the performance, edits it and posts it on YouTube. It makes Jess look like a fool
The kids all magically turn into wonderful children who do what they are told.
A music exec sees the performance while walking by the classroom, and offers Jess a million dollar contract
Jess gets fired. The song sucked.
 
16. "Injured": Which does NOT happen while Nick sees Jess' OB-GYN Sadie to deal with his back ache (since Nick doesn't have insurance)
Sadie watches Nick take a drink of water and wants to examine his thyroid. She sets up an ultrasound for him
Sadie clarifies it is not an official exam and tells Nick NOT to take the pills that she gives him for the pain
Sadie says that the pills she gave him are designed for severe menstrual cramps so they should help his baby back ache
Sadie asks Nick out on a date
 
17. "Control": What happened when Jess upset the ecosystem by telling Schmidt to be spontaneous?
Pan to a shirtless Schmidt playing in a drum circle (and Schmidt washed his hands in a public restroom while not breaking eye contact with a guy on a toilet)
Nothing - Schmidt can't be spontaneous. EVER.
Schmidt ate a donut that he found in the garbage
Schmidt had unprotected sex with two Russian models
 
18. "Fancyman (Part 1)": Who plays Russell, the father of one of Jess' students, and her new love interest?
Dylan McDermot
Bruce Willis
Dermot Mulroney
Damon Wayans Sr.
 
19. "Fancyman (Part 2)": When CeCe tries to seduce Schmidt by showing him her breasts, he declines the invitation, but does say hi to her boobs. What does he call them?
Thelma and Louise
Harold and Kumar
Hall and Oates
Biggie and Tupac
 
20. "Secrets": When Nick asks Schmidt to teach him how to be a douchebag - Schmidt realizes that Nick can't lie - so he has to make sure it is S S V. What is S S V?
Serious Silly Vain
Short Simple Vague
Serious Silly Vague
Suddenly Seeking Viagra
 
21. "Normal": What game do Jess, Russell, and the boys play in the apartment?
Spin the Bottle
Twister
True American
Charades
 
22. "Kids": How did Russell's daughter Sara know Nick's new girl Chloe?
Chloe used to babysit Sara
They are cousins
They used to take the same school bus
They went to the same dance classes
 
23. "Tomatoes": Which song does Jess break into when her parents (in a flashback) and later Russell and Ooly are fighting?
Surrender by Cheap Trick (Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird)
Final Countdown by Europe (I guess there is no one to blame, We're leaving ground (leaving ground))
Fight For Your Right by the Beastie Boys (Don't step outta this house if that's the close you're gonna wear)
Lady by Lionel Richie (In my eyes I see no one else but you)
 
24. "Backslide": What is one of the main complaints that Jess has about Paul (BEFORE she finds out he's got a serious girlfriend)?
He doesn't shower
His hair is prettier than hers
He's the world's WORST crier (looks like a slow motion sneeze)
He wears Crocs all the time
 
25. "See Ya": What is the one book Schmidt has on his Kindle - and is the way he tries to drive CeCe away?
Old Yeller
White Fang
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Silence of the Lambs
 
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