1.
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"Slow Down Your Neighbors": Cameron and Mitchell befriend sexy stranger Barry after they find him soaking in their hot tub. What do they discover about Barry that results in a phone call to the police?
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Barry has been stealing their silverware
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Barry is head of a pyramid scheme
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Barry has been taking drugs while in the hot tub
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Barry has been living in Lily's princess castle
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2.
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"Slow Down Your Neighbors": Jay successfully teaches Manny how to ride a bicycle, but doesn't have the same luck with Gloria. Who winds up teaching Gloria how to shed her fears and ride a bike?
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Phil
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Luke
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Manny
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Claire
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3.
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"Our Children, Ourselves": After Jay insults the houseguests staying with them, Gloria gets the couple to stay by:
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paying them to be her friends
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telling them Jay is starting to lose his mind
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pretending she wants them to join her and Jay in bed
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telling them their other option that night is to stay with Phil and Claire
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4.
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"Our Children, Ourselves": Phil and Claire, already feeling a bit insecure because Alex indicates they aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, run into her classmate's doctor parents while on a movie date. Alex's classmate's parents are going to see a foreign film - what were the Dunphy's going to see?
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Dude!
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Croctopus
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April Fools Day
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Psycho Vampire Sluts From Hell
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5.
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"Caught in the Act": Phil and Claire are upset when the kids walk in on them...in a compromising position. Gloria and Jay misunderstand the kids' comments, though, thinking that Claire is angry about:
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the lack of time Jay spends with the Dunphy kids
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the fact that Jay and Gloria did not knock before entering the house
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Gloria's choice of attire
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an email Gloria mistakenly sent to Claire
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6.
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"Caught in the Act": Cam and Mitchell are caught in a lie with restauranteur Amelia after they try to accuse her son of spilling a juice box on her expensive white rug. Amelia freaks out after hearing that her son spilled the juice box, not knowing it was a lie - why was she so upset?
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her son is forbidden from drinking anything other than water, per a crazy diet he is on
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her son is allergic to the type of juice that is spilled
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she had explicitly told Cam and Mitchell not to be giving him a juice box
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She had told her son he coudn't have anything to eat or drink until she got home
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7.
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"Bixby's Back": Claire and Phil, as sexy alter-egos Juliana and Clive, make plans to meet up in a hotel room. What happens that derails those plans?
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Phil winds up grabbing the wrong hotel key and ends up in the wrong room
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Claire gets drunk on appletinis and passes out on the bed
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Phil vomits on the bed after meeting up with Claire in the room
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the kids call, saying there's an emergency at home (Luke has his head stuck in the bannister)
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8.
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"Bixby's Back": What are Cameron and Mitchell disagreeing on during their Valentine's Day celebration?
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whether they should have gotten a room at the adjoining hotel
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whether Mitchell's assistant has a crush on Cameron or Mitchell
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whether they should have left Lily at home with a babysitter or brought her with them to dinner
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whether Jay will find a way to upstage their plans again
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9.
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"Princess Party": Claire's mother shows up for dinner at the Dunphy's and brings a date - who is it?
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Claire's therapist
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Jay
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Phil's father
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Claire's ex-boyfriend
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10.
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"Princess Party": Cameron is not looking forward to Lily's princess party - why?
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He doesn't want Mitchell's mother there since she is a troublemaker
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Mitchell won't let him show up to the party as Fizbo the clown
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The caterer he wanted was booked that day
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The princess they had hired was drunk
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11.
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"Regrets Only": Mitchell scrambles to save Cameron's charity event after realizing that he:
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forgot to send out the invitations that Cameron had asked him to mail
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booked the wrong string quartet to play at the event
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had invited all of the same people to his own work event on the same night
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had the wrong date printed on the invitations
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12.
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"Regrets Only": Gloria gets a gift that winds up putting Jay and Manny on edge. What is it?
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a knife set
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a video camera
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pots and pans
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a karaoke machine
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13.
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"Two Monkeys and a Panda": While Claire rushes to find a replacement sweater for Haley after Alex accidentally rips it, Phil gets advice from a group of women at:
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Alex's middle school
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Luke's baseball game
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a spa
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a strip club
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14.
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"Two Monkeys and a Panda": Mitchell and Cameron teach Lily to ______ when she hears the word "adoption".
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laugh
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scream
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wink
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clap
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15.
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"Boys' Night": While discussing whether it's appropriate for Luke to be friends with their elderly neighbor, Phil gives Claire some examples of unlikely friendships from movies. Which movie does he not name?
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Harold and Maude
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Up
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True Grit
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Gran Torino
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16.
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"Boys' Night": After ditching Gloria and Manny at the theater, Jay finds himself hanging out and having fun at a bar with:
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Phil and his work colleagues
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Cameron and Mitchell and their friends
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Haley's boyfriend
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Gloria's ex-husband
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17.
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"The Musical Man": What item of the Dunphys becomes a poor example of marketing for Phil's real estate business?
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their house
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their minivan
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their swimming pool
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Luke's skateboard
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18.
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"The Musical Man": Jay realizes that he and his brother have lost their connection over the years when his brother admits he kept news of his___________ from Jay.
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divorce
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retirement
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wife's death
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cancer diagnosis
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19.
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"Someone to Watch Over Lily": While at the sporting goods store, Jay helps Manny get more comfortable with nature and his approaching camping trip by making him:
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run laps around the store
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climb the rock wall
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pitch a tent in the camping section
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use a fishing pole
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20.
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"Someone to Watch Over Lily": Mitchell and Cameron are horrified to find that Gloria has:
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dyed Lily's hair
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accidentally taught Lily how to curse in Spanish
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pierced Lily's ears
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bought Lily a shirt that says "I love my Daddies"
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21.
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"Mother's Day": Something happens while Jay and Phil are preparing Mother's Day dinner that makes Jay cry. What is it?
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Phil calls Jay "Dad"
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Phil makes Jay tell him how much he loves his kids
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Jay finds a love note from his late mother to his father
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Phil finds a note from childhood Jay in his late mother's cookbook
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22.
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"Mother's Day": Claire and Gloria share frustrations about their children. Claire admits she wants to punch her children in the face sometimes; Gloria admits she hates Manny's:
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walk
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hair
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manner of speaking
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poetry
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23.
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"Good Cop Bad Dog": Claire and Phil switch roles for the day, with Phil being tough on the kids, and Claire being the "fun" parent. Where does she take Luke and Manny to celebrate their good report cards?
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driving range
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go-carts
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arcade
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library
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24.
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"Good Cop Bad Dog": How does sick Cameron figure out that Mitchell went to the Lady Gaga concert without him?
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he forgot to change out of his Gaga concert t-shirt
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he left the ticket stub on the coffee table
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he was still wearing his blinking necklace
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Cameron had checked online banking and seen a charge on the statement
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25.
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"See You Next Fall": Haley gives Alex, who is valedictorian of her graduating middle school class, some advice regarding the speech. She tells Alex her speech can be improved by:
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quoting song lyrics
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talking about the popular kids
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saying the word "party" no less than 5 times
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adding a profanity or two
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26.
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"See You Next Fall": The family is shocked to discover that Jay:
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wrote Manny and Cameron into his will
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had Botox
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was flirting with a waitress in front of Gloria
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admitted he had never been a very good father
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27.
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"The One That Got Away": Cameron gets kicked out of a bakery while trying to buy a birthday cake for Jay, after a misunderstanding that leads to patrons thinking Cam is:
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hitting on a pre-teen
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an armed fugituve
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a homeless man
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on drugs
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28.
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"The One That Got Away": Gloria buys Jay an unusual gift - a telephone shaped like a pair of lips. What had Jay mentioned wanting?
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a telescope
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a saxophone
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a fishing pole
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a bbq grill
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