1.
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Willie Stokes mentions personal life events that he feels were better than being a mall Santa. Which of these events is not mentioned?
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living in Mexico for years after dodging the draft
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being shot at
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accidentally running his own dog over with a car
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having a kidney removed
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2.
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Willie celebrates the close of the mall on Christmas Eve, and the end of another year as a mall Santa, by:
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shooting an elf in the groin with a dart gun
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wetting himself
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passing out drunk in Santa's chair
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finding something special to slip into later in the ladies' lingerie section
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3.
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Willie and Marcus, his little partner-in-crime, celebrate Christmas Eve by stealing over $100,000 out of the mall safe. Who is their accomplice, driving the getaway van?
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The mall security guard
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Marcus's wife
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Willie's father
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the local bartender
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4.
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What words uttered by Willie catch the attention of mall manager Bob Chipeska, leading him to believe Willie may be a problem with the children?
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"ass clown"
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"dirty pervert"
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"stupid little sh*ts"
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"f*#k stick"
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5.
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After sleeping with him, bartender Sue tells Willie she's had a "thing for Santa" since she was a child, which stems from:
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Christmas not being celebrated in her Jewish household
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being attracted to overweight men
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loving ZZ Top and any man with long beards
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being told by a classmate, "You think it would be great to be married to Santa Claus, but nobody thinks about the fact that you'd have to have sex with him". Sue wants to see what that's all about.
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6.
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Chipeska wants to fire Willie and Marcus after he catches Willie having sex in a dressing room. However, he changes his mind after:
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Willie offers him a cut of whatever money they steal from the department store
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Willie convinces him that his antics are brought on by low blood sugar
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being accused of discrimination towards a "small black midget"
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the back-up Santa quits
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7.
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Why does Willie spend the night at The Kid's house?
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someone had broken into his motel room and Willie was afraid it was a cop
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he dropped The Kid off at his house, and Willie's car died in the driveway
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he wanted to scope out the house a little more, trying to see what else he could steal
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he wants to score with The Kid's elderly grandmother
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8.
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What does The Kid show Willie the next morning, after waking him off and offering him some orange juice?
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his Christmas list
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a picture of his dead mother
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an Advent calendar
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his father's mug shot
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9.
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What does security manager Gin take from a teenage shoplifter after catching him trying to steal a video game?
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his mp3 player
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his watch
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his underwear
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his shopping bags filled with gifts
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10.
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After passing out drunk, Willie wakes up the next morning to the sound of the kid screaming. Why?
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he was upset that Willie ate all the chocolate out of the advent calendar
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he accidentally cut his hand
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he was traumatized by seeing Willie and Sue having sex in the hot tub the previous night
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he found his grandmother dead on the couch
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11.
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Willie fixes The Kid's Advent calendar, but the kid still knows that someone messed with it. How?
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he sees that the calendar is being held together by tape
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he sees that the days on the calendar have been re-attached but are out of order
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he finds candy corn in that day's compartment
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his grandmother tells him that Willie ate all of the chocolate inside
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12.
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The Kid shows up at the mall to talk to Willie about what he wants for Christmas, after:
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being given a wedgie by some local punks
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talking to his incarcerated father
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realizing he's probably not going to get anything this year
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realizing that he can guilt Willie into doing whatever he wants him to do
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13.
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Gin confronts Willie and Marcus, letting them know he's onto their scam. What does he want in return for keeping quiet?
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half of whatever they steal
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a night with Marcus's wife
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a new car
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a role in the robbery - to be a part of their crew
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14.
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A drunken Willie scares the parents and children waiting in line to sit on Santa's lap, by:
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vomiting on Santa's chair
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screaming profanities at a little boy he didn't like the look of
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attacking a plastic donkey that was part of the Santa's Village display
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kicking Marcus in the air as though he was a football
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15.
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The Kid enters the garage to talk to Willie, thwarting his plan to:
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masturbate
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kill himself
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have sex with Sue in an antique automobile
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sleep off a massive hangover
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16.
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Why does Willie tell Marcus he feels good about beating up some kids - ones who have been giving The Kid a hard time - earlier that day?
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it makes him happy to watch kids cry
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it was for a purpose
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there will be fewer kids showing up to sit on Santa's lap once word gets out
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it made him realize he wants children of his own
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17.
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The Kid gives Willie an early Christmas present. What is it?
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a bottle of laundry detergent
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cheap booze
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the stuffed elephant The Kid had wanted
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a wooden pickle
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18.
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Willie finds out The Kid's name after seeing it on his report card. What is it?
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William Williams
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Thurman Merman
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Ethan Allen
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Wayne Maine
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19.
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Willie encounters a problem when he and Marcus sneak back into the store after closing. He:
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forgot his tools in the car
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accidentally sets off the burglar alarm
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is not sure he can open the safe
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realizes he forgot to get The Kid a Christmas present
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20.
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Marcus pulls a gun on Willie after Willie:
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goes to get a present for The Kid
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tells Marcus he wants a bigger cut of the stolen loot
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says this is his last job
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can't get the safe open
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21.
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In a letter to The Kid, Willie mentions that was not charged with any crimes - why?
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people were outraged that an unarmed Santa was shot in front of children
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he paid off the local judge with some of the stolen money
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he offered to do community service
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he became disabled after the shooting, and everyone thought that was "punishment enough"
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22.
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Willie sends The Kid a present - a t-shirt. What does it say?
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"You remind me of a douchebag I know."
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"It's five o'clock somewhere."
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"Drink til she's hot."
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"Sh*t happens when you party naked."
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