| 1. |
![]() Shortly after being born, Brian Cohen is visited by three wise men bearing gifts. Why is she worried that one of them is giving Brian myrrh? |
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it might bite him | ||
| he might eat it | |||
| one day, it’ll turn on him | |||
| he’s too young to know about sex | |||
| 2. |
![]() What star sign is Brian? |
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| Aries | |||
| Pisces | |||
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Capricorn | ||
| Libra | |||
| 3. |
![]() While listening to Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Mr Cheeky (Eric Idle) comments on the size of his neighbour’s: |
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| Adam’s apple | |||
| ears | |||
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nose | ||
| bottom | |||
| 4. |
![]() Blessed are the: |
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| sneezemakers | |||
| greasemakers | |||
| fleecemakers | |||
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cheesemakers | ||
| 5. |
![]() Brian and his mother leave the sermon for the stoning. Meanwhile, Jesus’ sermon is not appreciated by some – apparently what he fails to appreciate is that it’s the ________ who are the problem: |
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| merciful | |||
| poor in spirit | |||
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meek | ||
| persecuted | |||
| 6. |
![]() Outside the stoning, Brian asks his mother to buy: |
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| a round stone | |||
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a flat stone | ||
| a pointy stone | |||
| a packet of gravel | |||
| 7. |
![]() About to be stoned for blasphemy is Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath. What did he say was good enough for Jehovah? |
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| that piece of mackerel | |||
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that piece of halibut | ||
| that piece of flounder | |||
| that piece of herring | |||
| 8. |
![]() How much does Brian give the ex-leper (Michael Palin)? |
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| half a drachma | |||
| half a lepton | |||
| half a shekel | |||
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half a denarius | ||
| 9. |
![]() Brian’s mother informs him that his father a centurion in the Roman army named: |
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Naughtius Maximus | ||
| Coitus Magnissimus | |||
| Kinkius Ultimus | |||
| Anus Optimus | |||
| 10. |
![]() Brian has a job selling snacks at the gladiator stadium. What is not one of the snacks he offers? |
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| otter's noses | |||
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peacock tongues | ||
| jaguar's earlobes | |||
| wolf nipple chips | |||
| 11. |
![]() Stan (Eric Idle) is always on about women because he wants to be one. What would he like to be called? |
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| Ethel | |||
| Gladys | |||
| Deirdre | |||
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Loretta | ||
| 12. |
![]() Stan, Reg (John Cleese) and Francis (Michael Palin) are all members of: |
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the People’s Front of Judaea | ||
| the Judaean People’s Front | |||
| the People’s Judaean Front | |||
| the Judaean Front of the People | |||
| 13. |
![]() Of the following Latin phrases, which correctly translates as “Romans, go home”? |
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| Romanos, ito domis | |||
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Romani, ite domum | ||
| Romanem, irent domibus | |||
| Romanes, eunt domus | |||
| 14. |
![]() The People’s Front of Judaea prepare to raid Pilate’s palace. Of the following, what have the Romans not given the people of Jerusalem? |
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| the aqueduct | |||
| roads | |||
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chariot races | ||
| public baths | |||
| 15. |
![]() Brian’s cellmate Ben, who accuses him of being a jailer’s pet, is played by which Python? |
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| John Cleese | |||
| Eric Idle | |||
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Michael Palin | ||
| Terry Jones | |||
| 16. |
![]() Brian is captured on the raid but according to Ben he’ll probably get away with: |
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| stoning | |||
| flaying | |||
| burning | |||
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crucifixion | ||
| 17. |
![]() Pontius Pilate has a gweat fwiend who wanks as high as any man in Wome named: |
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| Bollocks Supremus | |||
| Sausageus Humungus | |||
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Biggus Dickus | ||
| Surplus Penus | |||
| 18. |
![]() And his wife is named: |
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| Pudenda Magnissima | |||
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Incontinentia Buttocks | ||
| Genitalia Warts | |||
| Vagina Flatulence | |||
| 19. |
![]() Brian is pursued by the Romans and escapes thanks to: |
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| a camel | |||
| a riot | |||
| a group of pilgrims | |||
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a passing spaceship | ||
| 20. |
![]() Brian pays Harry the Haggler (Eric Idle) 16 shekels for a beard. What does Harry throw into the deal? |
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a gourd | ||
| a fish | |||
| a brush | |||
| a pair of sandals | |||
| 21. |
![]() The Romans come to search Matthias’ house for Brian and find nothing. When they come back to check the one place they did not look, what do they find? |
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| a bowl | |||
| a cup | |||
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a spoon | ||
| a saucer | |||
| 22. |
![]() Brian preaches a sermon to blend in and avoid notice by the Romans. His audience interprets it as accusing: |
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the birds of being scroungers | ||
| the butterflies of being parasites | |||
| the flowers of being weak | |||
| the orphans of being freeloaders | |||
| 23. |
![]() Simon the Holy Man (Terry Jones) breaks his eighteen year vow of silence with what phrase? |
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Oh, my foot! | ||
| Oh, damn and blast! | |||
| What do you think you’re doing! | |||
| Mother***er! | |||
| 24. |
![]() What is the only thing Simon has to eat? |
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| thistles | |||
| pomegranates | |||
| mustard seeds | |||
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juniper berries | ||
| 25. |
![]() Brian has a girlfriend. What’s her name? |
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Judith Iscariot | ||
| Joan the Baptist | |||
| Martha Magdalene | |||
| Simone the Canaanite | |||
| 26. |
![]() It’s Passover, and it’s the Woman custom to welease a wrongdoer from pwison. Who do the people of Jerusalem not demand be weleased? |
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| Woger | |||
| Wodewick | |||
| Weginald | |||
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Wingo | ||
| 27. |
![]() And of the following, who is not listed as being in prison? |
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| Samson the Sadducee Strangler | |||
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Simeon the Samaritan Sorcerer | ||
| Silas the Syrian Assassin | |||
| several seditious scribes from Caesarea | |||
| 28. |
![]() Brian is crucified. Of the following, who does not come to see him? |
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| Judith | |||
| Brian’s mother | |||
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Simon the Holy Man | ||
| Otto and the suicide squad | |||
| 29. |
![]() What song do the People’s Front of Judaea sing for Brian? |
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| Nearer, My God to Thee | |||
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For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow | ||
| He’s Got The Whole World (In His Hands) | |||
| Hava Nagila | |||
| 30. |
![]() “For life is quite absurd / And death's the final word.” Which lyric comes next? |
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You must always face the curtain with a bow. | ||
| Just remember that the last laugh is on you. | |||
| Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true. | |||
| Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. | |||