Shortly after being born, Brian Cohen is visited by three wise men bearing gifts. Why is she worried that one of them is giving Brian myrrh?
|it might bite him|
|he might eat it|
|one day, it’ll turn on him|
|he’s too young to know about sex|
What star sign is Brian?
While listening to Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Mr Cheeky (Eric Idle) comments on the size of his neighbour’s:
Blessed are the:
Brian and his mother leave the sermon for the stoning. Meanwhile, Jesus’ sermon is not appreciated by some – apparently what he fails to appreciate is that it’s the ________ who are the problem:
|poor in spirit|
Outside the stoning, Brian asks his mother to buy:
|a round stone|
|a flat stone|
|a pointy stone|
|a packet of gravel|
About to be stoned for blasphemy is Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath. What did he say was good enough for Jehovah?
|that piece of mackerel|
|that piece of halibut|
|that piece of flounder|
|that piece of herring|
How much does Brian give the ex-leper (Michael Palin)?
|half a drachma|
|half a lepton|
|half a shekel|
|half a denarius|
Brian’s mother informs him that his father a centurion in the Roman army named:
Brian has a job selling snacks at the gladiator stadium. What is not one of the snacks he offers?
|wolf nipple chips|
Stan (Eric Idle) is always on about women because he wants to be one. What would he like to be called?
Stan, Reg (John Cleese) and Francis (Michael Palin) are all members of:
|the People’s Front of Judaea|
|the Judaean People’s Front|
|the People’s Judaean Front|
|the Judaean Front of the People|
Of the following Latin phrases, which correctly translates as “Romans, go home”?
|Romanos, ito domis|
|Romani, ite domum|
|Romanem, irent domibus|
|Romanes, eunt domus|
The People’s Front of Judaea prepare to raid Pilate’s palace. Of the following, what have the Romans not given the people of Jerusalem?
Brian’s cellmate Ben, who accuses him of being a jailer’s pet, is played by which Python?
Brian is captured on the raid but according to Ben he’ll probably get away with:
Pontius Pilate has a gweat fwiend who wanks as high as any man in Wome named:
And his wife is named:
Brian is pursued by the Romans and escapes thanks to:
|a group of pilgrims|
|a passing spaceship|
Brian pays Harry the Haggler (Eric Idle) 16 shekels for a beard. What does Harry throw into the deal?
|a pair of sandals|
The Romans come to search Matthias’ house for Brian and find nothing. When they come back to check the one place they did not look, what do they find?
Brian preaches a sermon to blend in and avoid notice by the Romans. His audience interprets it as accusing:
|the birds of being scroungers|
|the butterflies of being parasites|
|the flowers of being weak|
|the orphans of being freeloaders|
Simon the Holy Man (Terry Jones) breaks his eighteen year vow of silence with what phrase?
|Oh, my foot!|
|Oh, damn and blast!|
|What do you think you’re doing!|
What is the only thing Simon has to eat?
Brian has a girlfriend. What’s her name?
|Joan the Baptist|
|Simone the Canaanite|
It’s Passover, and it’s the Woman custom to welease a wrongdoer from pwison. Who do the people of Jerusalem not demand be weleased?
And of the following, who is not listed as being in prison?
|Samson the Sadducee Strangler|
|Simeon the Samaritan Sorcerer|
|Silas the Syrian Assassin|
|several seditious scribes from Caesarea|
Brian is crucified. Of the following, who does not come to see him?
|Simon the Holy Man|
|Otto and the suicide squad|
What song do the People’s Front of Judaea sing for Brian?
|Nearer, My God to Thee|
|For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow|
|He’s Got The Whole World (In His Hands)|
“For life is quite absurd / And death's the final word.” Which lyric comes next?
|You must always face the curtain with a bow.|
|Just remember that the last laugh is on you.|
|Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.|
|Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.|