1.
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The plant workers are encouraged to sign up for the company softball team when Homer mentions he has a secret weapon. Which is not an item that Homer's co-workers imagine is his secret weapon?
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A Giant glove
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Spring loaded shoes
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A naked lady used to distract the pitcher
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A death ray to incinerate the opposing team
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2.
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When lighting strikes a tree, Homer has to put this project aside in order to work on Wonderbat:
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Attempted birdhouse
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Homemade football
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His blueprint for lasting Middle East peace
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His recipe for homemade prozac
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3.
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When Bart asks Homer how many home runs he'll hit in the season, Homer reasons there are 30 games, in which he'll average 10 bats a game, and arrives at this number:
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300
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A short of the MLB record
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3000
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More than the Minnesota Twins combined
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4.
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"Hey, we know how to play softball." Which of the following is not one of the ground rules laid out by the umpire?
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You can't leave first until you chug a beer
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If you clean your cleats at home plate, you have to chug a beer
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Any man scoring has to chug a beer
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Chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings
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5.
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When Homer reveals his magic bat to his team, Carl states that his secret weapon is:
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An enchanted jockstrap
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A mystical cup
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Fantastical suspenders
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Bewitched tube socks
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6.
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Mr. Burns instructs Smithers to go out an get ringers. Which of the following is not on his original list of desired players?
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Honus Wagner
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Cap Anson
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Clark "The Old Fox" Griffith
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Mordecai "3-Finger" Brown
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7.
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When Smithers recruits the ringers for the company softball team, who does he find playing with a jazz trio?
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Mike Scioscia
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Roger Clemens
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Ozzie Smith
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Steve Sax
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8.
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Taking over as manager, Mr. Burns gives the team this wellness tip:
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Sleep no fewer then 16 hours each night
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Instead of beer, drink a brain and nerve tonic
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Colonoscopies at least twice a week
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Beware the wiles of the (shudder) fairer sex
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9.
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Ralph and Bart are captains for a schoolyard game of baseball. While Bart ends up taking Millhouse and Louis, Ralph gets:
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Sax, Scioscia and Mattingly
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Strawberry
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Boggs, Griffey and Canseco
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Clemens
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10.
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The Springfield police pull one of the pros over. The cops say they heard someone was killed in New York City, and they solved the case. Who wouldn't know anything about that (or when to keep his mouth shut)?
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Steve Sax
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Jose Canseco
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Ozzie Smith
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Roger Clemens
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11.
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Ken Griffey, Jr. suffers which acute side-effect from chugging too much brain and nerve tonic?
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He thinks he's a chicken
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His ears show extensive cauliflowering
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Gigantism
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Amoria phlebitis
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12.
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Boggs gets his lights punched out by Barney as they argue about who is England's greatest Prime Minister, Pitt the Elder or:
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Spencer Compton, The Earl of Wilmington
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Sir Robert Peel
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Lord Palmerston
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Ramsay MacDonald
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13.
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What is the name of the local attraction that accounts for Ozzie Smith disappearing from the face of the earth?
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Springfield Funland Sinkhole
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Springfield Mystery Spot
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Springfield Inescapable Vortex
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Springfield Land-based Wormhole
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14.
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Catastrophes have struck each of the ringers - all except for this one, who plays Homer's position:
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Darryl Strawberry
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Jose Canseco
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Roger Clemens
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Ozzie Smith
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15.
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When Mr. Burns finally puts Homer into the game, he gives Homer instructions for the signs. This confuses Homer, leaving him wishing he was home with:
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A big bag of potato chips
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A nice stack of waffles
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Nuts and gum
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A can of Duff in each hand
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